Kelly Brook’s Engagement to David McIntosh

Kelly Brook is engaged to David McIntosh. The photographs of them together are so telling, and yet Kelly seems blissfully unaware of his body language and signals. Could this be why she has been unlucky in love?

Reference and photos: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2588285/Kelly-Brook-confirms-engagement-David-McIntosh.html

Photo one shows David with a fake smile, which doesn’t reach his eyes, his hand is draped in a loose fashion over Kelly’s shoulder which is a very casual gesture and not one which shows any connection or love for a newly engaged couple. His body is facing directly towards the camera without being even slightly turned towards Kelly is another sign of detachment. This photo mirrors the old photos of Danny and Kelly. Kelly is the complete opposite, smiling genuinely, using her eyes, her body and face turned inwards towards her man. Her feelings for him are genuine, however his are not.

The second photo(see via link) reminds me again of the photos of Kelly with Danny, if you take Kelly out of the photo there is no clue in his body language that he is walking with a companion! This time Kelly’s smile is forced and his attention is elsewhere.

The paper around his mouth in the third photo suggests he feels exposed and is trying to hide something. Could he be worried he might get sussed out for being a fake? Could he be having doubts about the engagement?

Photo 4 David looks unsure and uncomfortable. They likely had a tiff or disagreement and are both trying to hide the fact. Whatever it was Kelly, at this moment, is the more confident of the two.

The photos at the bottom of the article showing them shopping shows submissive and eager Kelly trying to catch up with David’s long stride to be side by side with him and look like a couple. Again take her out of the photos and he’s on his own, there is no connection to Kelly whatsoever.

Only 7% of communication is verbal so with this is mind it’s imperative to not get hung up on ‘words’ – it’s actions, body language, tone of voice and behavior.

I really hope Kelly susses this one out before she heads down the isle!

Do you always seem to attract the same type of wrong person? Do you want to break toxic relationship cycles? Then you’re in the right place!

I can help you. Please do get in touch.

A great book to read is “He’s Not That into You”

Another Kelly Brook link you might find of interest: http://www.rebeccadakin.com/celebrity-couples/infidelity-kelly-brook-

The Girlfriend Experience Review

Alan has kindly written me an email review of my book to share with my blog readers:

I just finished reading Rebecca Dakin’s The Girlfriend Experience, and thoroughly enjoyed it. Normally I am not intrigued by autobiographies, but as a long-time “hobbiest” I found it fascinating to read of the “hobby” from the girl’s point of view. I found the book to be a quick read – the compelling story of a woman’s journey in life and how she came to be an escort. Along the way, she learned how to run her own business – how to manage her professional reputation, properly market her business, and stay organized and professional. She also offers useful tips for potential clients. (We’ve all read reviews with the “YMMV” comment – Rebecca tells us what we as clients can do to make that mileage vary to our benefit, and although much of this advice seems like common sense, apparently there are far too many of us that don’t follow it.) She also provides her advice for escorts who wish to provide the GFE. Bottom line – this is really a no-brainer. This book is available in the US on Amazon.com in Kindle format for $0.99, and it is rare that I can say this about a book, but this book would be a great value at ten times that price!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Girlfriend-Experience-Rebecca-Dakin/dp/1844547523

Making your Relationships Better This Mothers Day

Many people are fortunate to have a close relationship with their Mum this post is for those who don’t

You are not alone.

Here’s the thing whether you are realize it or not how you feel about your Mum will directly impact your life and your relationships, so how about using this Mothers day to let go of any anger and resentment and forgive?

Why should you?

After all she’s not been a good Mum, she hasn’t been there for you, maybe she neglected you, abuses substances, physically or mentally abused you, talks down to you, insults you and makes you feel not good enough.

She may or may not be part of your life, however to let go and forgive her will be a huge burden off your shoulders and your world will feel lighter when you forgive; you no longer let experiences from your past impact you in a negative way in the present and future.

You don’t need an apology to forgive. You already have everything you need to start the process and to embrace forgiveness.

So how do you forgive? By showing empathy, understanding and having an open heart seeking to feel love.

10 Tips To Forgive Your Mom This Mothers Day

1)   Recognize that you can never say that you would never do what she did, because you are not your Mum and you have not led her life

2)   Try to understand how the experiences in her life and with her own mother shaped her actions and choices

3)   Acknowledge that every one makes mistakes, none of us are perfect

4)   Try to remember at least one happy memory or one kind thing she did for you even if it is small, hold and cherish that moment

5)   Wholly accept her for who she is, whether you deem her a nice person or not

6)   Don’t try and reason her behaviour with her, you won’t get the answers you’re seeking

7)   Know that harbouring resentment and anger will be impacting negatively on your life, so by letting go and not dwelling on the past you will wholly open your heart to love and happiness

8)   Don’t expect anything from her (emotionally or otherwise), then you won’t feel let down

9)   Spend time with her on your terms, and only as much as you can emotionally handle

10)  Consistently show love and kindness even if it is not reciprocated or isn’t reciprocated in the way you would like

Successful relationships boil down to certain foundations being in place and this is a key one of them. Could your troubled relationship or memory of your Mom be holding you back from finding love and happiness?

Regardless of your relationship status this doing the above will increase your well-being and have a positive impact on your life and relationships with others including your dating.

If this is something that you struggle with. I can help! Please get in touch.

Dating Advice Do People Love or Hate you? Part 2

This post was inspired by last weeks ‘First Dates’ #firstdates

Returning back to the one and only Mr Simon Cowell a guy that evokes strong feelings from everyone.

Too many people are obsessed by ‘being liked’, that they focus too much energy on seeking approval. These people end up unconsciously pushing people away.

A carefree attitude doesn’t mean that you are someone who doesn’t care. It’s having strength to have an opinion and own it even if it is different to everyone else’s and means that other people dislike you for it.

What one person deems as being helping someone, another can deem it being cruel. This is particularly true of Mr Cowell who on talent shows is brutally honest would consider that he is helping people by not giving them false hope. He makes no apologies for having a strong opinion and show business is notoriously brutal so he’s only helping them toughen up, because wannabe stars have to learn to take harsh criticism.

The fact that Simon rarely gives out compliments means that when he does they are incredibly powerful!

To be the person who always says something nice can come across as not genuine, and compliments are then expected, and they don’t have any meaning or impact.

So what has this got to do with dating I hear you ask?

It was last weeks First Dates that inspired me as I watched all these guys paying compliment after compliment to women. I was cringing!

What happens when you over do the compliments?

1)   You put the woman at a higher value than yourself (which is highly detrimental to those guys lacking confidence)

2)   She doubts your sincerity

3)   It makes her feel uncomfortable

4)   She loses respect for you

5)   It blocks her feeling sexual attraction – hence you will probably end up in the dreaded ‘friend zone’

I am not saying don’t compliment women however one powerful compliment is enough and move on don’t dwell on it. For a woman to respect a man she needs to earn compliments!

A compliment immediately followed by a question to change the subject works really well i.e “you look stunning… what can I get you to drink?” The lady is basking in the compliment but then has to think about what she wants to drink. She’s secretly hoping and expecting that you’ll say more, but you don’t. What you will find is that the lady will then step up flirtation if she’s interested and unconsciously work to receive more compliments.

It might sound that I am suggesting game playing and I suppose I am, however in a very specific form. It’s the game of building sexual attraction and it’s powerful and fun. It creates a strong connection and bond.

Give it a whirl and see what you think! If you want to learn how to build sexual attraction then you know where you need to come. This is just a snippet, I can give you all the tools you need for success with women. Just contact me via my contact form to start your journey today!

You might find these blog posts of interest:

http://www.rebeccadakin.com/dating-2/dating-advice-for-men/dating-advice-people-love-hate/

http://www.rebeccadakin.com/dating-2/dating-advice-for-men/dating-tips-advice-lothario-russell-brand-building-sexual-attraction-in-5-minutes/

http://www.rebeccadakin.com/dating-2/dating-advice-for-men/why-too-many-compliments-to-women-dont-work/

http://www.rebeccadakin.com/dating-2/dating-advice-for-men/are-you-too-nice/

Gwyneth and Chris’s Concious Uncoupling

What I take from Chris and Gwyneths ‘Concious Uncoupling’ is that they see divorce as the last option. The happiness of their marriage has been questionable for a few years now. They have clearly been working on trying to see if there is a way to stay together, and it seems they have exhausted all their options.

 However people do change, we all change throughout our life, and we never stop changing.

Change is based on our life experiences and the company we keep. Our lives can take different paths and we can end up wanting different things.

If these things don’t gel with that of our partner and a compromise can’t be reached then separation is the only way. We all deserve to be happy as individuals because for children to be happy they need to see happy parents whether they are together or not.

They say that they are parents first and foremost and I have seen people already questioning the fact that they are breaking up.

You don’t have to be together as a couple to be great parents.

This old fashioned notion of ‘staying together for the kids’ just simply doesn’t wash anymore in a world where women are independent and have choice. Women no longer have to think as they did the generation previously ‘I’ve made my bed and now I have to lie in it’, because as women we are skilled and educated as well as being Mum’s.

My personal opinion that is it unhealthy to stay in a toxic marriage/relationship, and children are far less likely to go on to have successful relationships when their parents haven’t had a happy marriage. Parents who think they are putting on a front for their children need to know that the kids see right through any façade, because it’s the unconscious body language that gives the game away even if there is no arguing. Too many couples split around feelings of hatred, anger, resentment and jealousy, a split whilst these feelings are at the forefront is inevitably going to be more challenging and damaging for children. What Gwyneth and Chris are saying is that they are going to work just as hard as making this break up go smoothly whilst nurturing positive feelings and trying to ensure that they do the best for their children. I think it’s a fine example to set for those couples thinking of divorce.

Reference: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2589523/What-unconscious-coupling-Dont-call-divorce-expanding-family-

Dinner Date 12 Steps to Building Comfort on a First Date

This evenings repeat of Dinner Date inspired this blog post.

I know dating is nerve racking for everyone involved however both parties do need to make an effort to try and build rapport.  I appreciate that for some it comes very naturally, but others not so. The problem with those that find it difficult is that they are too focused on themselves and how they are feeling, and worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing, that they make their date feel incredibly uncomfortable. There is no excuse for awkward silences.

So my dating advice is to switch things and make it your mission to make your date feel comfortable.

I do believe that this is more challenging when you are in someones home and not both on neutral territory.

My 12 Tips to building Comfort on a First Date

1)   Do some relaxation/confidence building exercises before your date – try You Tube for a whole host of powerful exercises, meditations and self hypnosis

2)   Nerves feel the same as excitement with regards to how the body responds physiologically, so try and focus on a feeling of excitement and remember that the person you are with may just be as nervous but be better at disguising it!

3)   Be warm, open and friendly when you greet your date

4)   Gauge how they are feeing: anxious, nervous, excitable and adapt to put them at ease if needs be, by taking the lead. Be aware throughout the date focus on their feelings and not your own

5)   Keep conversation light and talk about things in the present, ask about their journey and day; talk about yours

6)   If you can start banter and get your date laughing it will break the ice and help build rapport

7)   Move on to try and find common interests – films, bands, holidays etc…

8)   To avoid awkward silences, have back up questions planned for if you feel the conversation is about to dry up. It could be the “what 3 things would you take to a desert island and why?” You can Google interesting questions for more ideas

9)   Always leave on a high so that your date is left with a positive memory of you rather than allowing the date to fizzle out

10) Avoid talk of politics, religion, ex’s and other subjects that evoke strong opinions. A first date should always be light hearted and fun

11) Any food where you both get involved and share is a good way to help build connection, so tapas, meze, Raclette Grill, picnic are all recommended sharing food experiences

12) Don’t talk too much. Be sure to ask questions and do more listening than talking. Showing an interest in your date will allow them to feel you are genuinely interested in them

 

Don’t forget if you want personal help to boost your dating success you can get in touch with Moi!

Dating Advice – Do People Love you or Hate you?

Why do you think that people crave the approval and compliments of Simon Cowell when he judges talent shows above all the comments of the other judges?

Like him or loath him you cannot deny that he is successful, confident, charismatic, honest.

Too many people try too hard to be liked, and this often means they are seen as not genuine because they are trying too hard to be nice.

To evoke feelings of love or hate, like Simon, in people means you are actually an interesting person with an opinion.

I would much rather have people feeling both of these things about me than people being indifferent, and describing me as nice. Nice is boring.

The same things that make people love Simon also make others hate him. The thing is he is true to himself and he doesn’t care if he is liked or not. That is what confidence is about. You don’t need the approval of others and this is the very thing that forms a powerful attraction.

People trying to be liked come across as desperate and unsure of themselves and this has the opposite effect of detracting people.

Are you someone that people speak passionately about when they talk about you? How do people describe you?

Is it better to be one of those forgetful none descript people?

Are you the person that people like? People forget? People invite because they feel obliged? – The person that’s invisible at a party? – The person that no one really talks about?

I believe that the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about!

Do people value your opinion? Want to be around you? Are you the person that always has to be invited when people are planning social activities? The person that people are sad and disappointed if you can’t attend?

If you’re the former and want to be the latter then I can help! Please do get in touch. I can show you how to become Mr Magnetic and boost your social Status!

To be continued… (I’m readdressing the issue of you guys paying compliments!)

 

Are you Hiding Behind Your Makeup?

The Uk show Snog Marry and Avoid has prompted this blog post.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00htyc7

When I look at most of the girls on there I see me at 18 desperately wanting to shock people but putting on a front to hide the real me.

I have the same back-story as many of the girls, and as extreme. By aged 13 I was getting verbally bullied for being ugly and having a round face. I grew to despise my round face and to some level now if I’m truthful I still feel self-conscious about it, even though deep down I know that there is nothing wrong with it, hence why mostly I wear my hair down.

At my most extreme time of self consciousness’ I wore a full face of make up which took an hour to apply – dark eyes, and red lips to create a mask. If people looked at my lips and eyes they maybe wouldn’t my round face wouldn’t get noticed. I thought smiling made it look rounder so I covered my face with my hand when I laughed and hid behind a curtain of my hair. By the time I was 16 I turned into an exhibitionist and wore a variety of shocking clothes including rubber dresses, see through trousers, chain mail, shorts with suspenders.

My Dad always asked if I was getting dressed before I went out and said I’d attract the wrong kind of men. ‘What does he know?’ I thought. For me any attention from men was positive especially when suddenly it was sexual interest instead of being mocked for the shape of my face.

This is why I can relate to many of the people on Snog Marry and Avoid, they all have the same insecurities as me on some level.

I look back now and I hate to admit that my dad was right. It took me until I was 25 to realize that less (flesh) is more and cover up in classy clothes and less makeup.

I had the attitude that many of exhibitionists have which was ‘this is me and if you judge me based on my clothes you’re not the sort of person I want to know any way.’

How ever people do judge and make assumptions and if I saw me then now, I would know that I was troubled and not happy.

Many women hide on some level whether it’s behind the minimal clothes and maximum makeup or on the other end of the scale those that try to be invisible and wear baggy clothes and no make up and try to not stand out.

Any ladies that are going through the same stage I did, will probably get a lot of male attention and a lot of guys wanting you for sex, but they won’t see you as ‘girlfriend material’.

You don’t need to see POD to get a make under. Try it yourself. Experiment. If you feel uncomfortable to do so in your hometown take a trip out of town. See how what you wear affects the sort of men you attract.

I believe in the old rule of not showing legs and boobs together.

Sexy clothes that cover up are:

– Fitted Pencil skirts

– Heels elongate and create a sleek silhouette

– Fitted shift dresses

– Skinny trousers/jeans or fitted slim trousers

-Fitted jackets

– feminine floral print flowing dresses which are fitted at the bust and flowing skirts

– Stretch Herve Leger style bandage dresses. French Connection have affordable alternatives

To compliment your classy clothes wear natural make up, no hair, lash or nail extensions. If you go on You Tube there are hundreds of videos on how to do natural make up.

All guys whilst appreciate make up on some level prefer a natural look.

Whilst you are being an exhibitionist and/or plastering your face with makeup you aren’t dealing with what the real causes of your insecurity are, and on some level it’s a self-sabotage because you always attract the wrong men. I work with people to empower them and feel confident and secure with who they are as individuals and then they attract the right kind of men/women and their dating life falls into place.

If you need clothes and make up to feel confident, it’s not genuine confidence. Genuine confidence comes with knowing who you are and accepting who you are, and most importantly feeling good and worthy enough then you attract the right people into your life for fulfilling relationships.

The people we attract into our life we have to take full responsibility for, so if you find yourself thinking ‘I always attract the wrong kind of man/woman’ then you need to look inside for the answers.

If you want to explore how I can help you, please do get in touch, and ask me any questions you may have.

Dating Advice for Women 12 Tips to Make you Less Intimidating & More Approachable in Bars and Clubs

One of the biggest gripes men have with women is that they find them intimidating and are scared to approach.

Ladies we don’t help guys with this fear. If the decent guy in the corner sees you rejecting every man who has the balls to come and talk to you, it’s likely he thinks you don’t want to be approached.

Also when we are cackling with big groups of girls this is very intimidating. So what should you do?

 12 Tips to Make you Less Intimidating & More Approachable in Bars and Clubs

  1. Cover up wearing classic figure hugging clothes rather than showing too much flesh. With lots of legs or cleavage you will encourage drunken men who fancy their chances to approach however scare the decent guys
  2. Don’t over do the slap. Natural make up makes you look more approachable
  3. Go out in smaller groups of 2-4 preferably social and friendly ladies rather than those that want to bitch about guys or girlfriends
  4. If anyone talks to you (men or women), always have a brief conversation even if you are not attracted, so others can see you are engaging with people and being polite. Be friendly chatty and open to every one you enounter including all staff
  5. Move around and don’t stay in one place. This shows you are looking to mingle
  6. If you find yourself standing next to a guy then look at him in a friendly way and smile and break the ice by saying hi
  7. Enjoy yourself. Be fun and carefree. Don’t like you’re on the hunt whispering and pointing and giggling in the corner. This is intimidating for the decent guys
  8. Make sure your body language is open, no crossed arms or turning your body away from people
  9. Avoid standing in corners and instead stand where you aren’t being blocked or hidden by big groups of people, walls, or other obstacles
  10. Make eye contact in a friendly way (5 second minimum for any guy that takes your fancy)
  11. Avoid getting into deep girlie conversations that require you to give your undivided attention to your friends
  12. Don’t bitch about men and ex boyfriends, any guys that over hear will keep away for obvious reasons

Is Trust more Important than Fidelity?

Joanna Trollope has made headlines this week by her controversial view that trust is more important than fidelity.

You can see the full article here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2582253/Why-women-dont-need-fidelity-

Some argue that without fidelity there can be no trust. I disagree.

Trust is based on having a mutual agreement on the terms of the relationship whether it’s monogamous or not.

Society is quick to judge infidelity yet it is not accepting of any relationships other than monogamous, which seems hypocritical to me. These views are setting people up to fail!

Who are we decide on the relationships of others and between consenting adults dictate what ‘all’ relationships should be? Why should everyone conform with what many find unachievable – a monogamous relationship?

Whilst I don’t agree with infidelity in general there are extreme circumstances where infidelity has its place and is the best option for some couples. I discuss some of these cases in my book in progress Why Husbands Stray. (You can read two free chapters if you fill in your email on my Home Page. The links about half way down.)

I know couples very happy in open relationships that trust their partner implicitly. They don’t go around sneaking behind each-others back, they discuss and agree any intimacy with third parties.

Joanna Trollope is dating someone 12 years her junior who she doesn’t live with him. This is what works for her, and that is all that matters.

It’s implied that Joanna’s view is that whilst you can bear children fidelity is important but after that one should be more relaxed. I don’t agree with this as it suggests that this is just the way it is and not something that needs discussing or agreeing.

We are not forced into monogamy it’s a choice we make, and if someone chooses to conform to society’s restricted views on monogamy being the only acceptable relationship then in my opinion they should stick to it! The people I respect are those that make their own choices about the type of relationship they desire and find someone suited to that lifestyle.