Joanna Trollope has made headlines this week by her controversial view that trust is more important than fidelity.

You can see the full article here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2582253/Why-women-dont-need-fidelity-

Some argue that without fidelity there can be no trust. I disagree.

Trust is based on having a mutual agreement on the terms of the relationship whether it’s monogamous or not.

Society is quick to judge infidelity yet it is not accepting of any relationships other than monogamous, which seems hypocritical to me. These views are setting people up to fail!

Who are we decide on the relationships of others and between consenting adults dictate what ‘all’ relationships should be? Why should everyone conform with what many find unachievable – a monogamous relationship?

Whilst I don’t agree with infidelity in general there are extreme circumstances where infidelity has its place and is the best option for some couples. I discuss some of these cases in my book in progress Why Husbands Stray. (You can read two free chapters if you fill in your email on my Home Page. The links about half way down.)

I know couples very happy in open relationships that trust their partner implicitly. They don’t go around sneaking behind each-others back, they discuss and agree any intimacy with third parties.

Joanna Trollope is dating someone 12 years her junior who she doesn’t live with him. This is what works for her, and that is all that matters.

It’s implied that Joanna’s view is that whilst you can bear children fidelity is important but after that one should be more relaxed. I don’t agree with this as it suggests that this is just the way it is and not something that needs discussing or agreeing.

We are not forced into monogamy it’s a choice we make, and if someone chooses to conform to society’s restricted views on monogamy being the only acceptable relationship then in my opinion they should stick to it! The people I respect are those that make their own choices about the type of relationship they desire and find someone suited to that lifestyle.