Dating Advice for Men Archives - Page 3 of 5 - The Great British Sexpert - Rebecca Dakin
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Dating Advice for Men

Following on from the advice I gave on BBC Somerset this morning, I thought I’d summarize my thoughts on dating for the over 50’s – Finding your self back on the market so to speak after a divorce or bereavement after a long marriage is daunting and to put it bluntly, bloody scary!
In these current climes it’s easy for most guys to think that there is no point in taking women out on dates because they can’t afford it. There are so many things to do that don’t cost the earth, but you do need to know what sort of lady you are dating and what she likes.  All the ideas below are for a cheap date and range between being completely free and £30/$50 tops.

One gripe I have when guys ask me out on dates is if they are coming to Nottingham they ask me where to go because they “don’t know the area”.

Not good enough. I’d go so far as to say that it’s almost a deal breaker (…I did say ‘almost’ :).

Why? Because what women want is a guy who’s a leader and resourceful, shows mental strength; and that’s attractive to women.

When a lady agrees to a date, this is where your chance to impress steps up a gear – she’s waiting to see what you come up with, and looking for you to ‘show case’ your attributes and leadership skills.

Today I wanted to share with you a lovely email I received from one of my coaching clients (with his consent of course :)

Hi Rebecca,

I just wanted to email you to say thank you for such an insightful first coaching session with you. You asked me to let you how I found you and any feedback I had after our session so here it is...

After performing an initial internet search and checking the usual avenues (match.com, eharmony) I was interested in some tutorship to hone my confidence and improve my communicative ability across the board, but especially when dealing with women.

I found your site and browsed around, watching some introductory videos and reading into the services on offer, I decided that I would test the water by requesting a skype conversation with you to see where it would take me.

It worked out very well, I have seen a great deal of benefit from the advice provided during the session and have even been able to put some tips into practise! I want to talk about what helped and why, and to generally summarise the feeling I had after our session.

The thing that struck me about the conversation was how relaxed I felt talking to you. You  put at ease from the get go and didn’t feel like I needed to hold back or mask my emotions. This comfort enabled me to reveal things that I wouldn’t usually speak of and therefore allowed me to start working on some personal issues that would change the way I approach a potential ‘love-interest’ scenario.

What do you guys do if you like a lady and want to connect with her? Text/SMS her? ‘Hi how are you?’ ‘What are you up to?’   Poke her on Face Book? Wink at her on Match.com?   Message her on a dating website? ‘Hi want to chat?’ ‘Hi what are you up to this week/end?’ ‘Hi I like your profile, want to chat?’   If you want to pique a woman’s interest I suggest you do/say none of the above..... so what should you do?
Do you keep attracting the wrong sort of women? We all say it tongue in cheek… I attract these [insert appropriate negative people adjectives] ‘losers/crazy women/men etc… ‘ But then we baffle and wonder why, but keep doing it. It’s about taking responsibility and ownership and acknowledging these words literally. The people we attract are our responsibility. They are attracted to us because 'we' are attracting them. So what is it that we are unconciously seeking from them?...

You may look at some guys and think ‘it’s all right for him he’s good looking/ funny/successful’ etc….

You can’t force humour you either have it or you don’t. With your looks you might not be the best looking guy, but that doesn’t matter either as long as you keep yourself groomed well and dress well. Success is relative. Everyone has different ideas of what success means – so this isn’t something you can measure, but women are attracted to men with goals and ambitions.

But what is it about YOU women like? What makes you stand out from other guys?

The Oxford dictionary defines being interesting as “arousing curiosity or interest; holding or catching the attention

Being interesting is critical to your success with women.

First impressions count. What do you look like? What do people see when they look at you?

Bad boys verses nice guys: So why is it that men assume all women like bad boys? Because the bad boys actually have some of the traits women want. If they could have those traits in a nice guy then many would prefer the nice guys. Bad boys take the behaviour to the extreme so there’s a way to get a balance and be equally appealing, if not more so, to women. So nice guys listen up! There is a way to be a nice guy and get the girls if you man up on a few things. Lets look at the traits of bad boys…. So what are those traits? The first one is following on from my last post
I don’t know how many of you watch The Apprentice? I know you guys in the US may not be familiar with the show, but I want to share a powerful technique that someone used on there to collect women as potential customers for a ‘beauticians task’. In a nutshell, (for those that don’t know), The Apprentice is a bunch of people that are split into two groups and given a business task. With their team they have to create a business and make the most money to win the task and get a reward. Bear with me on this… This particular task was they had to set up a beauty parlour. In a busy shopping center one of the guys had to find clientele for the beauty shop. Being a bloke he was very unenthusiastic about the task, until he found a really cool technique that he repeatedly used to draw women into the beauticians – thus making his team the most money. What’s this got to do with dating? I hear you thinking. Well let me explain what he did. He went up to women and said “put your little finger out”, which every woman did, and then he put his finger out and linked them together, he then led them silently by their finger to the shop. Why did this work? Let me explain -