What do you guys do if you like a lady and want to connect with her?

Text/SMS her?

‘Hi how are you?’

‘What are you up to?’


Poke her on Face Book? Wink at her on Match.com?


Message her on a dating website?

‘Hi want to chat?’

‘Hi what are you up to this week/end?’

‘Hi I like your profile, want to chat?’


If you want to pique a woman’s interest I suggest you do/say none of the above….. so what should you do?

Dull text messages – there is nothing worse. In fact don’t be surprised if you either don’t get a response or you get an equally dull reply. The messages above are boring! If you haven’t got anything interesting to say, don’t say anything at all. Or at least make a ‘conversation attempt’ if you have nothing interesting to say.


Neither of the above message examples should be sent on their own. You don’t need an essay, but 2/3 sentences minimum if you are looking to engage a woman’s mind.

Example: Hey how are you today? I was thinking about you. I’m so bored/stressed right now at work. Are you doing anything exciting with your day?’

Ok it’s not the most interesting message in the world but this is an example of when you have nothing to say but want to start a conversation.


Poking and winking ugh! It’s sooo lazy.

Translates as ‘I want your attention but I can’t be bothered to think of something interesting to say to start a conversation’

Sometimes people will respond and sometimes women are just as bad for winking and poking, however if you want a real interaction with an intelligent woman then send her a short message without closed questions and invite conversation.

Don’t take it personally if you are not getting responses to your winks or pokes, because a lot of people don’t like them.


Message her on a dating website:

Hi want to chat?’ Translates as ‘I’m bored with no life and lots of time on my hands – I’m looking to ‘get off’ – maybe we can exchange kinky messages.’

Hi what are you up to this week/end?’ Translates as ‘I don’t know what to say -’ it’s boring and a weak attempt at conversation.

Why is someone that you have never spoken to and know nothing about going to share with you what they are doing on a personal level at the weekend? Some might, but again don’t be surprised if you don’t get a reply. This type of conversation asking about someone’s day and/or weekend is something you do when you are already in communication, not as an intro message and it needs to be part of a message with more substance.


You don’t need to send an essay; just a brief hello/introduction, what you liked specifically about that persons profile and ask them to have a look at yours and get in touch if they like what they see. This is what women want. Simples.


Hi Louise,  I really liked your profile and I notice we have a few things in common. I’m a big fan of skiing too; in fact I have a trip planned to France next month, which I’m looking forward to. Anyhow I’m interested to find out more about you, so please take a look at my profile and if you like what you see I’d love to hear from you.