Bad boys verses nice guys:

So why is it that men assume all women like bad boys? Because the bad boys actually have some of the traits women want. If they could have those traits in a nice guy then many would prefer the nice guys. Bad boys take the behaviour to the extreme so there’s a way to get a balance and be equally appealing, if not more so, to women. So nice guys listen up! There is a way to be a nice guy and get the girls if you man up on a few things. Lets look at the traits of bad boys….

So what are those traits? The first one is following on from my last post

1)   Assertiveness, a little bit bossy, direct and persuasive. The bad boy will call the shots as to when and where they want to see a lady. The nice guy will say “when’s convenient for you?”, “do you think you might have time to meet me this week?”, “what do you want to do?” ,“where do you want to meet?” Bad boys will say, “come and see me later”, “I’m thinking about you – I’m coming round” “don’t meet with your mates come and see me” “meet me at our usual place”. The nice guy thinks he’s being thoughtful, but he’s coming across as indecisive and unsure. Notice the nice guy is asking the questions and the bad boy is giving direct orders. You can only do this (like I said in my last post) if you can feel 100% confident when you are saying these things, because if not they will not work. Your body language will not be congruent with your words.

2)   Unpredictability; Again it’s something I’ve discussed on my blog when I’ve been talking about the push/pull technique. I’m not suggesting you become unreliable and let people down, but don’t be so eager to call or text when you have had a nice time with someone. Don’t reply to messages instantly. Let them ponder on it and wait a couple of days, so she wonders if you did enjoy yourself as much as she thought you did. Instead of being eager to see her again, just try to hold back a little bit. Then she will appreciate you more next time you do get in touch to see her. This is what push/pull is about – making sure that the lady appreciates and values you and the time she spends with you.

3)   Leader; women like men to be the leader, and take control of a situation. Again I’ve discussed this in more detail in a post here…. http://www.rebeccadakin.com/be-the-leader/

4)   Protector; bad boys are usually fiercely protective of their women, and as a women we like the feeling of being protected. Knowing that a man will stand up for us to his family, friends and our own is an attractive trait. So its important to not be afraid to speak up if a woman you are with is uncomfortable about something that someone has said/done to her.

5)   Excitement/danger/spontaneity; Predictability is boring. Bad boys are known for being exciting and unpredictable. If she’s expecting you to call because you always do the day after you see her, then wait an extra day. If she expecting to go to the same place you always go, mix it up a bit and go somewhere different. Surprise her. You can do fun things that can cover all of these traits without being a bad boy. You can surprise her and take her for some extreme sport, or paint balling, lazer quest, Go Ape. Ok these aren’t things that will really put a lady in danger but they are exciting and if you ask your lady to be ready one morning with her outdoor attire without telling her where she is going you have already spontaneity and excitement and the danger comes with the extreme sport. Obviously not every woman will like these things, but sorry to break it to you, there isn’t one set rule for all women, there are just things you can try. The message is don’t be boring and predictable.

6)   Desired by other women; usually bad boys have other women desiring them, and this is appealing for women – to be with a guy that other women want. They are often well liked by men too, and this usually comes because they are confident, cheeky chappys. If you know any one like this watch, observe and learn. Women like to be around guys that people like. So it’s very alluring to go out with a guy that knows a lot of people, and one that people want to talk to. As a starting point involve yourself in people around you, so you’re not just concentrating on your relationships with women you are building your network. I.e. go to your local bars/cafes on your own, be friendly interested and interesting, speak to the people that work there, meet the people that frequent there, so when you go in with her you have people saying hi and making conversation with you. This will get you brownie points.

7)   Confidence; bad boys ooze confidence. If this is something you are lacking it’s something to work on. Don’t just think ‘well that’s not me’. Remember the old saying ‘do what you have always done and you will get what you have always got’. It’s impossible to change your situation with women if you are not willing to make big changes to yourself. The confidence building techniques I generally mention in my blog posts start by doing things like the tip above. Interacting with all sorts of people, men and women – not focusing on and/or worrying about your skills with attractive women. That’s for further down the line once your confidence has grown.

8)   Cheeky chappy/funny; often bad boys are witty and make people laugh and that’s usually why they are a winner with men and women. If you can’t be funny you need to at the very least be interesting and intriguing to attract women. I’ll cover that in a later post 😉

9)   Jealous; whether women like to admit it or not there is a part of them that wants their man to be a little bit jealous if she’s talking to another man. Not the extreme level of making a scene, but as a woman; knowing your man is a little bit peeved that some guy has had the balls to chat you up in front of him does mean that he cares. It doesn’t have to be serious it can be light hearted. Its about acknowledging that you have noticed another mans interest, rather than ignoring it.

Please understand I’m not advocating game playing I’m offering tips and things to try if what you are doing isn’t working for you right now. Not everything will work with every woman but it’s worth trying a different tactic to see if you get different results.