Dating Advice for Men Archives - Page 5 of 5 - The Great British Sexpert - Rebecca Dakin
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Dating Advice for Men

How do you know if you’re sleazy?

1)   Do you always have to have some sort of physical contact with women when you speak to them?

2)   Do you consider it appropriate to touch a woman’s waist, bum when you speak to her?

3)   Do you make a lot of sexual innuendos and/or suggestive comments?.......

Too many guys focus on what they want when dating women, without thinking about what they offer and if the two compliment each other.

For example I’ve had someone who is extremely negative telling me that on their list if requirements for a woman is that they are a ‘positive person’.

It’s a problem I hear my girlfriends moan about all the time. They don’t say to me “he’s not a leader”, but ultimately this is what they mean when they say… “he never suggests anything for us to do”,  “he never makes any plans in advance to see me”. Women want excitement and adventure. Whilst spontaneous is good, making plans for the weekends and dates in advance shows a certain level of leadership and commitment (when I use the word commitment in this context I mean it as in shows you are committed to spending quality time with her and getting to know her). It’s good to have a mix of the two. But as a guy be the one who shows leadership. Even women who are independent are ultimately impressed when a guy steps up to show leadership.
Yes! I saw this tweeted the other day and it occurred to me that it is also relevant to dating. People are so focused on what they want that they forget what they have to offer, and what their value is as a human being. Think of women as your customers, ultimately they want to know when meeting a guy, what can he offer me? What’s in it for me?  

1)   she unintentionally caught your gaze whilst looking around

2)   she heard you and was inquisitive as to where the noise/voice came from

3)   she’s in a  good mood and smiles at you in the street, just like she smiled to others on her way past

4)   she’s on the phone and smiling at the conversation but catches your eye at the same time

5)   she’s being friendly

6)   she’s happy – she got a pay rise, got engaged, had some amazing sex the night before

7)   she’s seen you before a few times and she’s acknowledging you (like she would any person male or female)

8)   she wants something from you (help with her car? A discount at your shop?)

9)   she thought you were someone else

10)  you look interesting

11)  you have spilt food on your clothes/have a bogey up your nose/a big spot on your face

12)  she likes/dislikes the clothes you are wearing

 

I could go on but you get the jist. So what should you do?

 

I hear this dilemma from so many guys in my coaching, so I’m going to endeavor to give you some tips here.

To avoid getting into the ‘friend trap’ down the line you must when you meet a woman (whether she has a partner or not) express your interest in her initially and keep reminding her every now and then, in a non-intrusive, non-expectant way.  This can be done using mild flirtation and genuine compliments.

For example the first time you meet her you say something like “wow you look gorgeous. Who’s the lucky man who’s dating you?” You don’t want to put any pressure on a lady, but the point is she needs to know you see her in a sexual way from the start, or at least early on when you are getting to know her.


1. Peacocking (wearing an outrageous prop eg; pink tie, bright green cowboy hat) works but you have to have the confidence to back it up. The hat wasn’t a strong peacocking prop because it was a dull colour and looked non descript if it was pink, then that would have been :) 2. His lack of confidence was the first thing I noticed and he needs to build that to be able to sarge (approach and 'pull' women) successfully. This can come in a number of ways, firstly I would do sessions with Dan to find out what he believes his value to be as a human being, so he can practice his DHV’s (demonstrating higher value). You have to believe that you have something to offer the opposite sex, and from Dan’s lack of confidence his attributes need nailing first, and he needs to be aware of them, before he goes out in the field. Then I would take him out to give him a make over... clothes/style/hair. You have to look the part, because if you look the part it’s easier to act the part and he will gain some confidence from a style change. 3. To start negging (back handed compliment - I don't like these but they can work) right at the start when you haven’t made a confident approach is a big no no. Women can sense when there’s no confidence behind words. If a guy approached me the way Dan did, I’d be off on the first neg, thinking he was a weirdo. 4. He sounded insincere, which is due to lack of confidence. The whole thing was really forced and it didn’t come naturally to him. I would work with him by getting him to think about men who he admired and respected and the reasons why. Then we would analyze their success with women, and see what he could learn from them.

Women hate to be put on the spot or to feel that they can’t get away.  You want to leave her with a short powerful impression so that she is left intrigued. You also want to let her know that you fancy her, so you...