1)   she unintentionally caught your gaze whilst looking around

2)   she heard you and was inquisitive as to where the noise/voice came from

3)   she’s in a  good mood and smiles at you in the street, just like she smiled to others on her way past

4)   she’s on the phone and smiling at the conversation but catches your eye at the same time

5)   she’s being friendly

6)   she’s happy – she got a pay rise, got engaged, had some amazing sex the night before

7)   she’s seen you before a few times and she’s acknowledging you (like she would any person male or female)

8)   she wants something from you (help with her car? A discount at your shop?)

9)   she thought you were someone else

10)  you look interesting

11)  you have spilt food on your clothes/have a bogey up your nose/a big spot on your face

12)  she likes/dislikes the clothes you are wearing


I could go on but you get the jist. So what should you do?


As a woman I find it irritating that I can’t be friendly and smile/look at guys without them thinking that I fancy them. A smile/look is not always a green light!

On a positive note, you have been noticed, however whatever you do don’t think ‘yep I’ve got this one in the bag’, because as soon as she sees you coming with that lustful, cock sure look in your eye, her heart will sink, and she’ll be thinking ‘shit now how do I get out of this one?! All I did was look at him.’

Sometimes if women keep looking and catching your eye, they are only looking to see if you are still looking at them. This isn’t necessarily a positive thing. She could be attracted to you however she could be thinking, ‘why does that guy keep staring at me, it’s making me feel uncomfortable? I wonder if he’s still looking’

So how are you supposed to know if she fancies you or if she’s being friendly? How about always assuming the latter? Then how can you be disappointed? If you assume the latter when you approach you will be sending off different vibes and she will be more relaxed when you speak to her.

You have something you can work with if she notices you, however there’s more work to do.

Women are interested how men interact with other people. For example, you might be training in the gym, she catches your eye, so you smile back and then look away. Ok so she’s noticed you, now for phase two she needs to be interested in you, so you need to indirectly show her something about your personality. You might see someone struggling with using some of the equipment (male or female is irrelevant) so you go and offer to help them. It could be you know one of the personal trainers so you have some banter with him/her and both have a laugh. Obviously this needs to happen near her so she can see/hear what’s going on.

To help someone, shows that you are caring and considerate, brownie point. Double point if it’s someone you don’t know, because you are showing that you aren’t shy about speaking to people. To have a laugh banter with someone is showing your humour and that people are interested to talk to you, so you must be interesting too – another brownie point. Women are subconsciously assessing all the time when they meet people, looking for clues about their personality and signs that show her you are a guy she wants to get to know.

We like to be around people that are good with other people, and people we think other people like/value.

Women also do like to do their bit of the chasing. So after you have indirectly shown her some of your attributes, the next time you see her, you say in passing – hi, and if you have the balls to, throw in a compliment eg…. “Hi you look great, it doesn’t look like you need to be here working out in a gym.” This is in passing, so non-intrusive. You are not giving her the chance to think ‘oh god he’s going to loiter around and speak to me, I don’t know if I want to talk to him’ You carry on walking past, and you don’t look at her again for a long while. After you have spoken to her, she will be looking to see if you are looking at her. Play the game! Don’t do what she’s expecting. Be unpredictable.

All the time you have to be aware about her, how is she responding to how you are behaving – look for clues that she is interested in you.

Is she coming to chat to you? Is she looking out for you? She could still be being friendly so don’t forget to keep letting your interest known. Along with your general chit chat, you can throw in things like “so who’s the lucky guy who’s dating you?” How does she respond? Is she being flirtatious? Does she look uncomfortable?

As soon as a woman feels uncomfortable she will avoid you, hence why it’s good to take your time and not let her feel pressured. She will be more generous with her time if she is comfortable around you and not feeling pressured.

In a bar/street situation the same applies. In the street and you’re passing it could lead to a missed opportunity if you don’t act straight away… so what should you do?

A passing compliment and a cheeky look would be appropriate. Women love you to notice the effort they put into how they dress and how they present themselves. So compliments like “beautiful dress” “love your hair” are great ones to use. You keep walking and take a couple of steps and turn around; is she looking? How is she looking at you? With interest? Amusement? If so is she may want to speak to you. Go and say hi!

Another idea is (I’ve just thought of this and suggested this to someone on their blog) you see her approaching and smile like you know her, then when you reach her you about turn and walk along side her, but not too close for comfort, and say “there you are, I’ve been looking for you, we’re going to be late for our lunch/dinner reservation.” See how she responds. If she has a sense of humour, she’ll be amused, and you have your conversation starter. If she brushes you off don’t take it personally. You don’t know her and you don’t know what is going on in her life or what sort of day she has had. Just leave her be, and say a compliment like the above I suggested, and wish her a good day.

This guy makes me howl! Check him out for tips for approaching women…