Too many guys focus on what they want when dating women, without thinking about what they offer and if the two compliment each other.

For example I’ve had someone who is extremely negative telling me that on their list if requirements for a woman is that they are a ‘positive person’.

It didn’t occur to him that a positive person wouldn’t want to go out with a negative one!  Negative people don’t have a big network of friends, they will see a few people, but no on wants to give negative people a lot of time/commitment, because they get pulled down with negativity too.

Positive people surround themselves with positive ‘feel good’ people. Positive people don’t want to be around negative people that think the world has nothing to offer and they are so wrapped up in the own misery and disappointment that they miss all the good and beauty in the world.

So being aware that a positive woman will want to date a positive man, means that you can make those changes in yourself, and in doing so, not only will it be better for your health and well being; you will be happier, your whole life will change in a positive way, new opportunities will arise and you will become attractive to positive women. It’s a win win situation – positive women will want to date you!

So be aware if there is something you can do to change your character in a positive way that will benefit yourself first of all, but will also make you attractive to the women you want to date.

It often happens with confidence too, a guy says he wants a confident woman, but he’s not confident. What happens when a guy who ‘thinks’ he wants to date a confident woman, and then ultimately goes out with her (I can speak from experience on this) is that he gets increasingly insecure. What if she finds someone else? What does she really want in me? What if she’s seeing someone else?

Ultimately what happens then is resentment, jealousy, insecurity grow and start eating away at them. How this is portrayed usually is that the guy starts putting the woman down and attempting to make her feel as insecure as he does. His moods will be up and down there will be no consistency, and sometimes he’ll be ‘game playing’ with his affection and communication so he could come across as hot and cold. Ultimately he fulfills his self-fulfilling prophecy he pushes her away and she leaves, or destroys her confidence and makes her miserable, but she doesn’t leave him. Obviously either situation is bad, the latter being worse as there is another person involved.

So when an unconfident man wants to date a confident woman, he needs to work on himself first, and gain confidence.

This is why so many people have problems in relationships, they are looking for qualities that are not congruent with what they offer. They forget that there may be work they need to do on themselves first and for-most!

Dating advice tips: Have think about the top ten things you look for in a woman, and then write down the top ten things you have to offer. See if they are congruent, and if not what you can do to change them.