1. Peacocking (wearing an outrageous prop eg; pink tie, bright green cowboy hat) works but you have to have the confidence to back it up. The hat wasn’t a strong peacocking prop because it was a dull colour and looked non descript if it was pink, then that would have been 🙂
2. His lack of confidence was the first thing I noticed and he needs to build that to be able to sarge (approach and ‘pull’ women) successfully. This can come in a number of ways, firstly I would do sessions with Dan to find out what he believes his value to be as a human being, so he can practice his DHV’s (demonstrating higher value). You have to believe that you have something to offer the opposite sex, and from Dan’s lack of confidence his attributes need nailing first, and he needs to be aware of them, before he goes out in the field. Then I would take him out to give him a make over… clothes/style/hair. You have to look the part, because if you look the part it’s easier to act the part and he will gain some confidence from a style change.
3. To start negging (back handed compliment – I don’t like these but they can work) right at the start when you haven’t made a confident approach is a big no no. Women can sense when there’s no confidence behind words. If a guy approached me the way Dan did, I’d be off on the first neg, thinking he was a weirdo.
4. He sounded insincere, which is due to lack of confidence. The whole thing was really forced and it didn’t come naturally to him. I would work with him by getting him to think about men who he admired and respected and the reasons why. Then we would analyze their success with women, and see what he could learn from them.
5. He needed a confident wingman to see how it all works. I know a few guys that I could partner him up with for a sarging mission.
6. Women also when they see a man with a woman see it as a challenge to get the guy, so me being seen out with him, would get him some interest from the opposite sex and help build his confidence.
7. He sounded desperate reeling out routine after routine (practiced ‘lines’). It was all about him, he was so nervous that he was thinking about what he had to do and his next step, when what he should have been doing was trying to read what the lady was thinking and watching her facial expressions and body language to see how she was reacting to his words, and taking his lead from there.
8. He should have done some pushing away kino (kinesthetic touch), to engage her.
9. He looked like he would have just loitered around in the café approaching any female that entered . He should have approached her with the view that he was just leaving, and on his way out, so she didn’t feel like she wasn’t going to be able to get rid of him. The guy needs to be the one leaving, not the girl sitting there thinking ‘god I wish this loser would leave’. A lady will be more relaxed around a guy if she thinks he doesn’t have long to speak. So you get in there – approach, say your opener (initial introduction), run your routine, and hopefully number close (get her number), and if you’re lucky kiss close before you leave.
10. Never ask ‘would you like to see some magic?’, because it’s not an open question. There’s a chance she could say no. Say assertively… ‘ here let me show you some magic, you are going to be amazed, and if you like my magic, I’ll let you buy me a drink. If you don’t like it, I’ll buy you one’ (with a cheeky smile) Then he could hook a lady into a conversation and she will feel obliged to stay if either you have bought her a drink or the other way around.
11. He didn’t ask the lady anything about herself. People like to talk about themselves, and women especially like a guy who seems genuinely interested in what they are all about. If you are not showing genuine interest it won’t work.
12. At the start it didn’t sound like Dan was smiling, probably again because of lack of confidence. I would send him on missions to approach women that he didn’t find attractive, to build up his confidence. It’s easier to talk to a person you don’t fancy rather than one you do.
13. He definitely needed to be more assertive… Again ‘shall we hold hands?’ Gives an opportunity for someone to say no. And then what? Game over! ‘Give me your hand’ said in a gently persuasive, assertive way would be more effective. Women like a man who is sure of himself (without being arrogant) and who takes the lead.