Yes! I saw this tweeted the other day and it occurred to me that it is also relevant to dating.
People are so focused on what they want that they forget what they have to offer, and what their value is as a human being.
Think of women as your customers, ultimately they want to know when meeting a guy, what can he offer me? What’s in it for me?
I hear this dilemma from so many guys in my coaching, so I’m going to endeavor to give you some tips here.
To avoid getting into the ‘friend trap’ down the line you must when you meet a woman (whether she has a partner or not) express your interest in her initially and keep reminding her every now and then, in a non-intrusive, non-expectant way. This can be done using mild flirtation and genuine compliments.
For example the first time you meet her you say something like “wow you look gorgeous. Who’s the lucky man who’s dating you?” You don’t want to put any pressure on a lady, but the point is she needs to know you see her in a sexual way from the start, or at least early on when you are getting to know her.
1. Peacocking (wearing an outrageous prop eg; pink tie, bright green cowboy hat) works but you have to have the confidence to back it up. The hat wasn’t a strong peacocking prop because it was a dull colour and looked non descript if it was pink, then that would have been :)
2. His lack of confidence was the first thing I noticed and he needs to build that to be able to sarge (approach and 'pull' women) successfully. This can come in a number of ways, firstly I would do sessions with Dan to find out what he believes his value to be as a human being, so he can practice his DHV’s (demonstrating higher value). You have to believe that you have something to offer the opposite sex, and from Dan’s lack of confidence his attributes need nailing first, and he needs to be aware of them, before he goes out in the field. Then I would take him out to give him a make over... clothes/style/hair. You have to look the part, because if you look the part it’s easier to act the part and he will gain some confidence from a style change.
3. To start negging (back handed compliment - I don't like these but they can work) right at the start when you haven’t made a confident approach is a big no no. Women can sense when there’s no confidence behind words. If a guy approached me the way Dan did, I’d be off on the first neg, thinking he was a weirdo.
4. He sounded insincere, which is due to lack of confidence. The whole thing was really forced and it didn’t come naturally to him. I would work with him by getting him to think about men who he admired and respected and the reasons why. Then we would analyze their success with women, and see what he could learn from them.
A man thinking with his nether region can be dangerous; Rationality and consequence go out of the window, and to be making big decisions he will not have been thinking clearly, because sex, especially in the context of an affair, will be giving him the thrill and excitement and cause major distraction. His mind will be wandering to sex even more than usual. A man thinking about extra marital sex and acting upon sexual urges has a complete lack of self-control, and shouldn’t be making any big decisions that could prove wreckless. Because the affair was in his work place, his mind may never have been 100% on the job. This isn't the case for all men, it depends on the individual - but it can happen.
I am sick to death of hearing about cheating footballers. Who the hell do they think they are? Rumour has it is a well known fellow Welsh man.
So do I believe these people have the right to super injunctions? NO. I think they should be named and shamed. Otherwise it's a big green light to carry on treating their wives and familes with disrespect. If you are a celebrity or someone in the public eye, you have to take the rough with the smooth. And press good or bad is part of the package. These type of cheaters will carry on cheating. They make a mockery of marriage. I find little sympathy for those women who stay in these marriages, even for the sake of the kids. How is it a good example to show your children that cheating is acceptable.
Hmmmmm, if she wanted to 'fetch something' from her apartment why did Peter even go in?
I think in this case nothing probably happened, but why do footballers get themselves in such situations? Is it arrogance? I can do what I like because I earn stupid amounts of money, or is it because they are stereotypically 'not all that bright'? I believe that Peter is actually quite intelligent, so I can only assume it's the former - arrogance.
People like Peter, Ashley Cole, David Beckham and Wayne Rooney, selfishly disrespect and humiliate their women time after time, and yet these women still seem to have their rosy tinted glasses on. Is it the unwritten code that if you get involved with a footballer you have to accept that he cheats? And become a submissive Stepford Wife - turning a blind eye to their cheating, whilst hoping he doesn't get rumbled by the press, and if he does, praying it goes away quickly? Because it seems to me that these women accept this behaviour. It's no wonder they keep doing it.
