It’s a problem I hear my girlfriends moan about all the time. They don’t say to me “he’s not a leader”, but ultimately this is what they mean when they say… “he never suggests anything for us to do”, “he never makes any plans in advance to see me”.
Women want excitement and adventure. Whilst spontaneous is good, making plans for the weekends and dates in advance shows a certain level of leadership and commitment (when I use the word commitment in this context I mean it as in shows you are committed to spending quality time with her and getting to know her).
It’s good to have a mix of the two. But as a guy be the one who shows leadership. Even women who are independent are ultimately impressed when a guy steps up to show leadership.
Yes! I saw this tweeted the other day and it occurred to me that it is also relevant to dating.
People are so focused on what they want that they forget what they have to offer, and what their value is as a human being.
Think of women as your customers, ultimately they want to know when meeting a guy, what can he offer me? What’s in it for me?
1. Peacocking (wearing an outrageous prop eg; pink tie, bright green cowboy hat) works but you have to have the confidence to back it up. The hat wasn’t a strong peacocking prop because it was a dull colour and looked non descript if it was pink, then that would have been :)
2. His lack of confidence was the first thing I noticed and he needs to build that to be able to sarge (approach and 'pull' women) successfully. This can come in a number of ways, firstly I would do sessions with Dan to find out what he believes his value to be as a human being, so he can practice his DHV’s (demonstrating higher value). You have to believe that you have something to offer the opposite sex, and from Dan’s lack of confidence his attributes need nailing first, and he needs to be aware of them, before he goes out in the field. Then I would take him out to give him a make over... clothes/style/hair. You have to look the part, because if you look the part it’s easier to act the part and he will gain some confidence from a style change.
3. To start negging (back handed compliment - I don't like these but they can work) right at the start when you haven’t made a confident approach is a big no no. Women can sense when there’s no confidence behind words. If a guy approached me the way Dan did, I’d be off on the first neg, thinking he was a weirdo.
4. He sounded insincere, which is due to lack of confidence. The whole thing was really forced and it didn’t come naturally to him. I would work with him by getting him to think about men who he admired and respected and the reasons why. Then we would analyze their success with women, and see what he could learn from them.
