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The Power of ‘First’ – Ref Mr Christian Grey

Delving more into the Christian Grey phenomenon is clear to see what his appeal is on so many levels. His way of showing Ana that she was special and different to the women he had before was him telling her she was the first…

  • Woman to sleep in his bed
  • Woman he slept next to
  • Woman he introduced to his Mum
  • Woman to be photographed with him

We are programmed from an early age that first is what we aim for with regards to achievements, so it’s a powerful word from a baby it’s all about our first words, first steps, first tooth, first day at school, first in the class, first boyfriend/girlfriend, first kiss – the first is always taught that it’s a special thing to be celebrated. Making it a powerful pull when it comes to attraction.

Which is why it’s a turn off for lady to go to a venue restaurant where they think many have been before, especially for a first date.

So what can you do? How to show a woman she is special – Tell her if she’s your first!

It could be that your lady is the first lady…


  • You write love notes to
  • You take away on a romantic break
  • Have phone sex with
  • You have allowed to meet your child (from a previous relationship)
  • You have spent Christmas day with and been away from your own family
  • You have stood up to your mother about
  • You have chosen to live with
  • You have asked to marry
  • You have given up your weekends for
  • Your mates have liked
  • You prefer without make up
  • You buy flowers for
  • You think looks beautiful first thing in the morning even with a hang over!

So if you want to make your lady feel special and let her know that your feelings are sincere then see how many ‘firsts’ you can do that will make her feel like the only girl in the world.

N.B. That doesn’t mean you try and convince her that a threesome would be special as it would be your first! This is about what she will find special and it’s about what she likes.




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I researched Womens Top 5 Sexual Fantasies: The results might surprise you!

I had a fabulous X rated girls night a while back where we talked sex and sauciness, and I asked the ladies to anonymously write down their fantasies and here’s what I discovered…

Women’s Top 5 Sexual Fantasies

It’s important to remember that fantasies don’t mean that the person wants to explore them in ‘real life’, some just like to keep them as fantasy.

What is clear to me is that us British Strumpets are definitely more grey than green!

My results are showing I was right to predict the second coming of the forgotten Alpha male this year. Women are realizing that the Metrosexual man who’s into extreme ‘equality’ and obsessive about their looks lacks the excitement, testosterone and pro activeness in the bedroom!

  1. A threesome with another woman (known as MFF in the sex industry world) was top of the list. The idea of exploring the touch of a woman, which is the complete contrast of a man’s, is extremely appealing. Some women just want their man to watch and others to join in by mutually agreement if boundaries have been agreed and discussed prior to acting out the fantasy.
  1. A threesome with another man (known as a MMF) was a close second place for the saucy devils. Usually this is in the form of two heterosexual men who pleasure woman individually without interacting on a sexual level with each other. For women this testosterone feast can be very appealing, especially for more submissive women, because there is never a shortage of hands, cocks, mouths to satisfy her, whereas one on one sex you are limited with sometimes only being able to do one thing or another, multiple people ensures no end of possibilities. Again one to make sure boundaries have been discussed and agreed before indulging.
  1. Exhibitionism Having outdoor sex was next on the list. Oooo matron! Obviously this isn’t always practical and can end up in arrest so it’s one to consider the time and place. Sex outdoors takes us back to our younger years when sex outdoors was pretty much the only place you could do it if you lived with your parents. Those were carefree days, so it takes us back there. The risk of being caught and being naughty fuels our rebellious side, and certainly keeps things spiced up!
  1. Role Play was the next fantasy it can be great fun whether it’s school girl and head master, secretary and boss, doctor and patient. The most extreem Role play that popped up was robber/intruder. It’s surprisingly more common than you would think. Again it’s adding a danger, edge to sex in a controlled environment with someone you trust. This is another testosterone fuelled encounter which gets the adrenaline going. The idea being the lady is in bed and their partner breaks into the house as a pretend ‘robber’ and forces himself on his partner in the bedroom. Again this one is one to be discussed and boundaries agreed before hand including a ‘Safe word’. How far people choose to take this varies, ranging from not realistic in the slightest – just mild role play fun, to realistic scary with stocking on his head, extreme force and pretend weapons!
  1. Domination Again what’s clear is that women want men to take control in the bedroom, and to excite and surprise them. Push their legs apart and ravish them. Pin their arms down as they thrust and satisfy their needs on a raw, carnal level.

Great British Gifts for Him this Valentines Day

The Best of British Valentines presents for him:

  1. Duchy is the brain child brand of Prince Charles, so you can’t get more British than that can you wot wot. You can get a selection of treats or hampers from Waitrose.
  1. Ann Summers for him: Trust me ladies on this one, men love body stockings! I know we find them weird looking and tacky, but guys go wild for them, or anything that is ‘stocking like’ and see through. Ann Summers have a selection. You can treat him for V day and then hide it away!
  1. Molton Brown London: Stylish, classic and always guaranteed to please. At least he’ll smell good before you ravish each other! Try their Black peppercorn to refresh and invigorate, after all you want him to have his energy levels piqued!
  1. Admans Morello Cherry Liqueur: Made in the heart of Suffolk and using it’s own vodka. Who knows what might happen if you get the dear fellow tiddly 😉 You can add it to fizz, make cocktails with it, or if you’re feeling daring – knock it back as a shot. Or how about their red Absinthe (let me put a disclaimer out there – I shall not be responsible for any shenanigans after Absinthe!
  1. John Smedley: If he likes his clothes You can’t go wrong with Great Britain John Smedley’s clothes and undergarments. Their Brock V neck in Aubergine is one of my personal favourites. It’s guaranteed to last and feel fabulously comfortable! If that’s out of your budget then an essential scarf will keep him snug until summer.


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Great British Gifts for her this Valentines

I’ve got a few ideas here to suit all budgets if you’re looking for a last minute gift…

  1. Ann Summers: If you want to invest, in a vibrator, sorry I mean ‘body massager’ and yes I did say invest, that’s going to last the distance, look modern and discreet, and bring you both pleasure try the Lelo Smart Vibrating Wand. Trust me she’ll be happier with something you can both enjoy, rather than you buying lingerie for her to wear that YOU like! For a cheaper alternative why not try the Love Heart Pink – apt for valentines don’t you think?
  1. Lisa Lemon bag: I recently met the talented and fabulous Lisa Lemon who makes hands free bags – what lady doesn’t like a bag? Especially one made from leather, in gorgeous bright colours and made in England!
  1. Rimmel London: Sensual Red lipstick from Kate only £5.49 with £1.67 going to Comic Relief
  1. Jo Malone London: Gifts from £14.00 pretty much anything from here is sure to be a winner for him or her, as long as you know how they like their fragrances sweet, floral, musky, fruity
  1. Vivienne Westwood: Will get you a million brownie points and guarantee some enthusiastic playtime in the bedroom later 😉 How about a Heart pendant, red letter style clutch, a purse with a shoulder strap in powder pink, or if you feel extravagant a quilted patent red handbag!




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5 Reasons to Celebrate being Single this Valentines Day

  1. You can go out Saturday night with your single friends and know that pretty much everyone out on their own or with friends is single, so you can have your pick!
  2. You’re not one of the large number of people that are miserable in a relationship, but pretending to be happy
  3. If you choose you can check Tinder and have some uncomplicated ‘fun’
  4. …Or if you fancy stress free solitaire sexy time – there’s always your faithful sex toys and adult films. No having to put the work into pleasuring anyone but yourself!
  5. You save money and time; The hassle of having to ring and book early to get somewhere half decent to eat, where they give you a set menu which has half the amount of food at double the price!



Sex Tips – How to do 50 Shades this Valentines Day without turning Sadist

‘Tie and Tease’ is a mild but exciting way to explore bondage. Lightly tie your lover using either men’s or women’s ties. If you can’t use bedposts just tie wrists together. It doesn’t have to be escape proof – after all why would they want to escape?

Then blind fold them making sure they can see nothing. No peeping. No speaking. Leave the room and come back in after 5 minutes. The idea of tie and tease is that you don’t go straight on in for obvious sexual parts you tease and create a longing (excuse the pun 😉 .

You might want to try experimenting caressing, massaging, kissing, licking your partner. To break contact when they can’t see you, and reengage builds powerful sexual tension. You can experiment with different senses, try ice cubes, hot wax (…if pre agreed!) food – ice cream, yoghurt, smell using essential oils in massage, or intimate parts of your body, taste – aphrodisiac foods such as chocolate.

The idea is that you build up the intensity and drive them wild with wanting, before pleasuring them with penetration and/or oral sex.

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Tonight I’ll be on Notts T.V. as a Dating Expert

According to The Nottingham evening post 56% women prefer a man who is competant with technology and 46% prefer a man who ‘tinkers under the bonnet’ (… there’s so many jokes I could make here!) . Tonight I’m going to be discussing my opinions on this on the 6.30 Show on Notts TV. Check it out my dears!

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