Infidelity – Men love visuals….

I had a lady mention on my blog that her husband was looking at porn, and expressing her concerns. Porn is very addictive, but pretty harmless in itself. Many women though take it as a personal insult, because they think their men shouldn’t ‘need’ to look at it if they’ve got them. Put it this way if your man is looking at getting some variety in a sexual way, isn’t it better that he does so by viewing porn, rather than going out and cheating? I do think that guys should be more discreet though if they are because it is a knock for a woman if it’s something that happens regularly. The problem is it is one of those things that can get addictive, so ladies you need to start giving your bloke some distractions ;-p

What we ladies have to remember is that men are very visual they need visual stimulation, so if things are starting to go stale with your man, you need to bring back some visuals and some basic flirting techniques. If you’ve not had sex with your man for a long time you need your guy to start looking at you in a sexual way again. I discuss this in my book The Girlfriend Experience, although men will stay in a relationship with no sex, they WILL NOT accept it, most will go else where to fulfill that need. If your man stops asking you for sex, then don’t think ‘phew that’s great, he doesn’t want it anymore’, because believe me he will, if he’s not trying to get it from you that’s when you need to worry, not feel relief – where is he getting it from?

I know it’s difficult when you have kids and are maybe working too, and don’t feel sexy, but if you’re a woman either married or in a relationship, you need to make time to feel sexy, and the way you can do that is to spend a bit of time taking care of yourself. Women often put everyone else before themselves, but it’s important that your partner still sees you in a sexual way, because if he doesn’t see you in that way, he’ll be looking at other women in that way, and who knows how far he’ll go?!

So pride in your appearance is important, wherever possible finding time to look sexy and desirable will actually make YOU feel more sexy and desirable. So make the best of the time you have to look good. Red nails might not be practical, but it’s extremely sexy to a man to watch a woman painting her nails (even just toe nails) or lips. Men actually enjoy watching a woman put make up on, especially on their eyes and lips, as long as it’s not too much mind :/ Why not make a point of doing your make up somewhere where your man can see you? If he’s watching tv, do it in the lounge, he’ll be sure to keep glancing over ;-p If you’re in the kitchen, make a point of bending over saucily and slightly raising your behind, whilst getting something out of a cupboard, or bending over in front of him to give him his tea, whilst you’re wearing a low cut top. You need to keep his eyes and attention on you.

Make sure that you are wearing clothes that flatter your figure and colours that suit you. Showing a bit of leg or a bit of cleavage when you go out is always sexy. It’s even better for a man to see that other men want you (unless he’s the jealous type, in which case I’d say – get outa that relationship fast!), so being out in public and playing with your hair, neck, showing a bit of leg and flirting with him, will cause other men to look at you and it will be a big turn on for your man. Just make sure you have your sexy undies on and ravish him when you get home! 🙂

Confidence in the bedroom is the biggest turn on for a man! If you have the lights off and dive under the cover, it’s one of the biggest turn offs, and it’s something when I worked as an escort that I would hear men complaining about ALL the time. Men don’t care about your size they care about confidence. Some of the largest women have the most amazing sex because many men love big women. Whatever your size you need to feel comfortable in your own skin. You need to embrace your curves and your body and feel good about it, because again if you don’t, that’s when your mans eyes will start wandering. If you’re not confident, think about what would make you confident, and DO IT! Don’t hesitate.

Here’s some bits I found online about what men find sexy in women….

‘Andrew Widdowson, 27, a plasterer from Sheffield, says: “Bed hair is so sexy. My girlfriend looks great with it, and it reminds me of the amazing night we had before!”

Andrew Wellwood, 29, a salesman from Yorkshire, says: “I love those dimples on a girl’s back just above her bum. When they lean over and I can see them, it conjures up saucy images in my head.”

Mark Spence, 30, a writer from Belfast, says: “I think the sexiest part of my girl’s body is her neck, it looks really stroke-able. There’s nothing nicer or sweeter than nuzzling into your girlfriend’s neck.”

James Village, 27, a businessman from Manchester, says: “Girls who play with the hair at the back of their head are a real turn-on. It reveals their neck, which is a really sexy place on a woman.”

‘Nice Lips is another thing men consider sexy in a woman. A woman with nice lips makes a man wonder and fantasize about how it tastes and how good of a kisser you are! Find a lipstick that flatters your skin tone and lip line your lips, especially if you do not have full ones naturally. For a sexier touch, roll a little gloss over your lipstick, for a wet and juicy effect.’

Doctor Susan Block Radio Interview…

At 6.30 I am Sunday I was up bright eyed and busy tailed (not! lol) to have a live radio interview on the fabulous and sexy, Doctor Susan Block about my book The Girlfriend Experience. Her studio was buzzing with various porn stars who were in the studio for interview, so unfortunately I didn’t get to say much, and it was quite difficult to hear what was going on with so much happening in the studio. In fact they sounded like they were having a real ball, I’m rather envious I wasn’t there too 🙂 It was fun to have a brief chat to her but she has promised me a proper interview soon. You can listen to the archived show here…..

i guess i meant some of the key things someone would need to address emotionally / psychologically post-escorting. not yourself perhaps as you were always doing what you wanted to do. never forced into things. but even then, there might be little things?

ah ok. I can’t really say because I have no ‘issues’ myself after escorting either emotionally or psychologically. I don’t feel any different. I am still hoping to meet my Mr Right, and live happily ever after 🙂 I can’t speak for other escorts and I don’t personally know of any ex escorts that have had problems, well those that have, had problems before they started escorting, so aren’t industry related. Of course there will be lots of ladies that have had to address issues post escorting, but you’re asking the wrong person, sorry I can’t be of more help.

Ask me anything

what are some of the key things someone needs to do to be able to leave escorting. there are people who enjoy it, but many who don’t. i guess everyone has a different situation. but there must be common things to be able to deal with to be able to stop?

Your question is a bit unclear, so I hope I’ve covered what you want to know…. Ladies that work as independent escorts can leave/stop at any time! People don’t need to be ‘able’ to do anything. You just stop. Simples.

You should always have a back up plan/skill so that you can do something else if you have to or want to stop.

Ladies that don’t enjoy it shouldn’t be doing it. It is extremely damaging to women to carry on escorting if they don’t want to do it and aren’t enjoying it.

If you mean what tips would I give to escorts? it would be this golden solitary rule….. ‘never ever do anything you don’t want to do’ that’s it pure and simply. If you stick to this, you will always be ok working.

Only see who you want, when you want and on your terms and ALWAYS be prepared to walk away if you are not happy/comfortable.

Ask me anything

following on from question about leaving escorting; has your self-esteem been affected since quitting escorting? I presume your dates were CONSTANTLY telling you how beautiful you are and beaming from gratitude. Do you miss that aspect?

Job/customer satisfaction/gratitude…. Of course I miss all that, but I think anyone does who takes pride in their work/business.

My self esteem hasn’t been affected by finishing escorting. I am actually getting more interest from men in my personal life now that I have finished escorting. Maybe I’m giving off different vibes somehow. I have been on a few real dates, so I still receive compliments and I have some amazing male friends, who love and appreciate me, for which I am very grateful.

I am naturally a very caring, loving and generous person so I get fulfillment in my personal life from my friendships/relationships.

Ask me anything