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I had a lady mention on my blog that her husband was looking at porn, and expressing her concerns. Porn is very addictive, but pretty harmless in itself. Many women though take it as a personal insult, because they think their men shouldn’t ‘need’ to look at it if they’ve got them. Put it this way if your man is looking at getting some variety in a sexual way, isn’t it better that he does so by viewing porn, rather than going out and cheating? I do think that guys should be more discreet though if they are because it is a knock for a woman if it’s something that happens regularly. The problem is it is one of those things that can get addictive, so ladies you need to start giving your bloke some distractions ;-p

What we ladies have to remember is that men are very visual they need visual stimulation, so if things are starting to go stale with your man, you need to bring back some visuals and some basic flirting techniques. If you’ve not had sex with your man for a long time you need your guy to start looking at you in a sexual way again. I discuss this in my book The Girlfriend Experience, although men will stay in a relationship with no sex, they WILL NOT accept it, most will go else where to fulfill that need. If your man stops asking you for sex, then don’t think ‘phew that’s great, he doesn’t want it anymore’, because believe me he will, if he’s not trying to get it from you that’s when you need to worry, not feel relief – where is he getting it from?

I know it’s difficult when you have kids and are maybe working too, and don’t feel sexy, but if you’re a woman either married or in a relationship, you need to make time to feel sexy, and the way you can do that is to spend a bit of time taking care of yourself. Women often put everyone else before themselves, but it’s important that your partner still sees you in a sexual way, because if he doesn’t see you in that way, he’ll be looking at other women in that way, and who knows how far he’ll go?!

So pride in your appearance is important, wherever possible finding time to look sexy and desirable will actually make YOU feel more sexy and desirable. So make the best of the time you have to look good. Red nails might not be practical, but it’s extremely sexy to a man to watch a woman painting her nails (even just toe nails) or lips. Men actually enjoy watching a woman put make up on, especially on their eyes and lips, as long as it’s not too much mind :/ Why not make a point of doing your make up somewhere where your man can see you? If he’s watching tv, do it in the lounge, he’ll be sure to keep glancing over ;-p If you’re in the kitchen, make a point of bending over saucily and slightly raising your behind, whilst getting something out of a cupboard, or bending over in front of him to give him his tea, whilst you’re wearing a low cut top. You need to keep his eyes and attention on you.

Make sure that you are wearing clothes that flatter your figure and colours that suit you. Showing a bit of leg or a bit of cleavage when you go out is always sexy. It’s even better for a man to see that other men want you (unless he’s the jealous type, in which case I’d say – get outa that relationship fast!), so being out in public and playing with your hair, neck, showing a bit of leg and flirting with him, will cause other men to look at you and it will be a big turn on for your man. Just make sure you have your sexy undies on and ravish him when you get home! 🙂

Confidence in the bedroom is the biggest turn on for a man! If you have the lights off and dive under the cover, it’s one of the biggest turn offs, and it’s something when I worked as an escort that I would hear men complaining about ALL the time. Men don’t care about your size they care about confidence. Some of the largest women have the most amazing sex because many men love big women. Whatever your size you need to feel comfortable in your own skin. You need to embrace your curves and your body and feel good about it, because again if you don’t, that’s when your mans eyes will start wandering. If you’re not confident, think about what would make you confident, and DO IT! Don’t hesitate.

Here’s some bits I found online about what men find sexy in women….

‘Andrew Widdowson, 27, a plasterer from Sheffield, says: “Bed hair is so sexy. My girlfriend looks great with it, and it reminds me of the amazing night we had before!”

Andrew Wellwood, 29, a salesman from Yorkshire, says: “I love those dimples on a girl’s back just above her bum. When they lean over and I can see them, it conjures up saucy images in my head.”

Mark Spence, 30, a writer from Belfast, says: “I think the sexiest part of my girl’s body is her neck, it looks really stroke-able. There’s nothing nicer or sweeter than nuzzling into your girlfriend’s neck.”

James Village, 27, a businessman from Manchester, says: “Girls who play with the hair at the back of their head are a real turn-on. It reveals their neck, which is a really sexy place on a woman.”

‘Nice Lips is another thing men consider sexy in a woman. A woman with nice lips makes a man wonder and fantasize about how it tastes and how good of a kisser you are! Find a lipstick that flatters your skin tone and lip line your lips, especially if you do not have full ones naturally. For a sexier touch, roll a little gloss over your lipstick, for a wet and juicy effect.’