My Wife no Longer Wants Sex so I’d like to have an Affair reports The Guardian

“I am a 65-year-old man who is married to a lovely lady who no longer wants sexual intimacy with me. She wants me to cuddle but as soon as I get aroused she gets annoyed….”

My thoughts as an infidelity Expert:

I empathise with you and it’s a situation that is very common dilemma in my job. Firstly have you asked her what it is that she wants? Do you want sex every time you are aroused? A common complaint that I hear is that there is always an expectation of intercourse when there is an erection. This builds resentment and every time she gets annoyed she is reinforcing that reaction to your erection. If sex drives are different what is required is patience and compromise.

Rather than thinking about what you want how about trying to focus on what you can offer your wife with regards to making her feel good? How often do you touch her intimately without wanting sex? Massage and caressing in a none sexual way can very quickly build arousal in a woman. However it’s important to read her physiological signs, and not get carried away with what you want.

It can be a much slower process to build desire in a woman especially in later years. How about getting out the old photos and reminiscing about times when you had fun and when you were intimate and take her back to those times through memories? Once you create the desire in her intimacy will follow naturally.

Before you have an affair to fill your needs things to consider, how will you feel if your wife finds out? How will you deal with any guilt? What will she do if she finds out? Have you considered what you will do if she leaves you? How will you handle it if you get emotionally involved? If you have children and other family, how will it affect them if they find out?


If you would like help with a similar dilemma please, don’t hesitate to get in touch with me, I can help.