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It’s great to see This Morning exploring the sex party culture with the fabulous Emma Sayle.

Reference: http://www.killingkittens.com/intro/

Of course Sex Parties are not for everyone! And the decision to go is not something to be taken lightly because once you go down that route as a couple there’s no going back, and it can be risky business for a relationship.

Whether they are right for you as a couple depends on the terms and agreements of your relationship, whether it’s monogamous or not.

I know people in very successful open relationships that enjoy and fully embrace sex parties such as Killing Kittens.

For those couples who are very open minded sexually and secure in themselves as people (i.e not jealous or with body image problems), it can be a great way to explore sex with multiple partners in a safe controlled environment, and it can facilitate couples staying together by minimizing the risk of infidelity, outside of what is agreed, at parties.

The problems occur when one party of the relationship is going to please their partner and not because they really want to go. Irreparable damage can be done to the relationship.

For those who have carefully discussed the pros and cons of sex parties and have both come to the conclusion it’s something you want to try here’s some tips on how to keep your relationship strong. I would advise that as a couple you go as spectators initially and openly discuss your thought sand feelings about it after the event, and then after a few weeks, before making  a decision to go again and possibly participate.

 8 Tips for Couples Considering Sex Parties

1)   Discuss what it is you both are seeking from sex parties, and see if firstly there still is a need and desire to bring in a third party

2)   Don’t put pressure on your other half to go or engage at a sex party, there are no expectations at the party to be involved

3)   Make sure you have mutual trust and respect for each other

4)   Discuss and agree boundaries (which are open to change if both agree)

5)   Agree that either party can change their mind before or during the event without the other person feeling resentment (sometimes the reality of the situation may not hit until you are in the middle of things!)

6)   Have a safe word/phrase that you can use for a ‘get out’

7)   Be aware at all times of how your partner is feeling based not on their words but their body language and be sensitive to those feelings

8)   Don’t be selfish if your partner feels uncomfortable, respect them and give them a discreet opportunity to leave

Avoid Sex Parties If:

1)   You’re a jealous person

2)   You have a controlling nature

3)   You’re insecure

4)   You feel you are the lucky one in the relationship

5)   You feel unattractive

6)   You are self conscious of any parts of your body