28 Aug Rebecca Dakin Dating advice for Men: “She’s too good for me”
Guys do you recognize when you feel this way?
Here’s what happens when you consciously or sub consciously think this about your girlfriend/wife/partner…
1) you feel angry at her for no reason
2) you say things to put her down and make her feel bad
3) you don’t compliment her or say anything nice
4) you feel jealous
5) you feel insecure
6) you start arguments about silly things
7) you start being ‘difficult’
8) you feel moody and miserable
9) you may be prone to drinking in excess
10) you start trying to control her, making it inconvenient/impossible for her to go out without you
Can you resonate with any of the behaviours above? Here’s some food for thought…
I empathise with you because of the different structure of the male/female brains, men can find it difficult to understand why they feel/behave a certain way.
Many of my friends are similar to me and are strong, independent women, who are successful and although they’d like a man, or have men, they don’t need one/them. They have their own houses, own businesses and are driven and ambitious. I have friends that have men that live in their houses (they’re not on the mortgages) and/or work in their businesses.
There is nothing apart from a negative mindset (e.g. inadequacy, insecurity and inferiority) stopping these men achieving their own successes.
What’s has happened in my opinion is that as men are now unsure of their role, instead of adapting their behaviors and embracing/respecting these modern day women, complementing them and adding value to their lives, they feel inferior and insecure and instead of stepping up and being the leader/man, they end up as 40 year old man-children.
I know a number of men in the 40’s/50’s that are bachelors that go out partying, getting completely drunk, act irresponsibly, and some even still live with their mum and/or don’t have jobs.
Their mind set is “well I’m not with anyone so it doesn’t matter”. What they forget is that they are not going to end up with anyone when they have nothing to offer. Why would a woman want to be with someone who acts like a child, and can’t offer any security or commitment?
And if they do – these are the guys that then end up with a woman whom they resent and think is too good for them. They treat the woman badly and it’s more negative behaviour which reinforces their negativity and insecurity and it’s a vicious circle.
If you think like that the woman you are with is too good for you, then you are absolutely right!
But here’s the thing; it’s changeable, because it’s not about them, it’s about YOU! It’s back to my earlier post; work needs to be done on yourself if you think certain women are too good for you. We all have our insecurities, and by addressing them and dealing with them, we make our lives better and the lives of others around us better.
Very often when we look at what’s wrong with our lives we look and make fault with other people and other things, instead of looking at ourselves. To change what we get in life, we have to change ourselves first, and then external changes will happen without us trying.
If more people were interested in self-development then there would be many more happy relationships.
Once guys step up and become real men, take the lead, show they can provide, offer security, show commitment and ambition they become desirable. Don’t think ‘she’s too good for me’ think ‘what can I do to better myself?’. Increase your own self worth – get that new job, buy that new house, and you will feel less insecure and in turn will have more success in your relationships with women.