My Top 10 Tips for A First Date

 

1. No phones

Emergency calls only are acceptable whether it’s the friend ‘get me out of here’ rescue call or you have children that are with a sitter who calls. If you need to make business calls – arrange your date at a time when you don’t. All other calls and texts should be left. The message that jumping to reply to every message, checking and updating your Facebook status and answering every call on a date sends is that ‘you’re not that interesting to me’, ‘my phone is my priority, you never will be’. Being on the phone hinders the ability to connect with your date, because of constant interruptions. Put your phone on silent and put it out of sight. A phone on the table means, the person intends to use it. You can always go to the bathroom if you need to check for emergency calls.

2. Be interested and interesting

Sometime people worry so much about what to say on a date that they spend too much time talking and not enough time listening. Often this is due to nerves. Be self-aware. Remember if you’re the one asking the questions then they are the ones talking so you won’t have to worry about what to say.

3. Avoid subjects like politics and religion

Both are a potential recipe for disaster, so to be on the safe side they are both best avoided, and also any subjects that evoke strong feelings or opinions might be better saved for later dates.

4. Avoid talking negative about anyone – friends, ex’s and family

It doesn’t show good character to be talking to someone you don’t know negatively about others. Be diplomatic. If you don’t speak to your family, or members of, the way to handle this on a first date is to say that you don’t see them as often as you would like for various reasons and quickly direct a question back to them. Be wary of anyone that pries when you make it clear they are asking to many questions about an area you don’t want to discuss. If they can’t tell that you are uncomfortable and aren’t changing the subject it shows that they have a lack of self-awareness.

5. Look for commonalities to build rapport

Start with easy ones, film, music, tv, then there’s interests, sport, dancing etc.. When you both like some of the same things it gives you a chance to bond and helps bring you closer together. Don’t avoid interests that aren’t common, however be aware if the person is interested or not. For example guys if you like computer games or football they are potentially subjects that would bore women and women if you like sewing and knitting they are not likely to be interesting to men. However if you do a martial art or extreme sport these are things many people find interesting even if they don’t do them.

6. Don’t get drunk or drink lots to calm nerves

You may be tempted to drink alcohol before your date and during, however if you are looking to potentially get another date with this person then drinking will only jade your view of them, and it won’t give them a good impression of you. I would recommend for a first date having no more than one or two drinks altogether before and during your date. Remember that they will also feel nervous too. Allow your self to feel nervous, don’t fight it; think of it as excitement as this is the same feeling in the body. You will naturally relax as the date goes on as you build rapport and find common interests.

7. First impressions count

Find out where you are going and research what sort of place it is so you can dress for the occasion. You want to be yourself and be comfortable, dress to impress however you need to be aware where you are going. Is the venue casual smart? Ladies – do you need sensible footwear for outdoors or can you wear your killer heels? Is the place uber smart? Guys do you need to wear a shirt? It’s essential that you be groomed. It shows that you care and shows you take pride in your appearance, which both men and women appreciate. Little things like clean hands and finger nails, trimmed nose and ear hair, shaved legs, tidy clean hair all portray if you are someone who looks after himself or herself.

8. Location

Guys if you’re doing the food thing on a first date (and ladies if you get asked where you would like to go) sharing food places, for example tapas help to build connection and rapport over food. It’s very intimate to share food, and you are far likely to bond over food which you share than you are if you are both sat in front of individual plates of food. Be creative you don’t need to spend a lot of money on a date you can also food share by going on a picnic to a scenic or interesting location.

9. Attentive to your date

Give your date your undivided attention. If your eyes are wandering around it shows a disinterest in the company you are with. Guys be aware if your lady is happy with her food or needs another drink.

10. Be polite to everyone you encounter on your date

Here’s where you showcase your social skills and you can tell a lot from a person as to how they interact with others. Be polite and courteous to everyone – it shows that you have good manners. People are drawn to those have good social skills and the ability to effortlessly connect with others.

 

Remember dating is supposed to be fun. So don’t forget to relax and enjoy yourself. You are getting to know someone new which should be exciting. Don’t be thinking about what will happen next or if you will see them again, be in the moment and make the most of it. Happy dating!

 

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