09 Mar Liam Payne and Cheryl Tweedy – Can Relationships With a Big Age Gap Work?
In some cases yes, however often what happens is there is a strong connection physically and mentally however unless both have discussed and agreed long term plans, then couples can find that they want different things.
For Cheryl she a decade longer at her career, and now she has Bear wants to settle, focus on her family and embrace motherhood away from the limelight, whilst Liam’s solo career is going from strength to strength he wants to try and juggle everything, leaving Cheryl feeling that his priorities aren’t his family. My Sexpert opinion would be that they have grown distant physically as a result of this. In my experience women can often use sex as a weapon and withdraw all intimacy if they are not having their emotional needs met. It’s a dangerous game to play, as it pushes the partner to look elsewhere.
This is where being at different stages in your life can cause a problem especially when there is an age gap.
Here’s some tips if you are thinking of starting a relationship with some one younger or older:
- Discuss where you are now both financially and emotionally independently of each other. Is one of you leaning on the other more emotionally or financially? If it isn’t balanced then it’s important to check there’s no resentment or controlling behaviour. Balanced doesn’t mean you both have to bring the same amount of monies to the table, it means that you both need to be happy and secure with what you are bringing to the relationship. Both of your needs have to be met for a healthy relationship.
- Take sex out of the equation and check that you have enough of a connection for longevity – good sex will often keep couples in toxic relationships, so it’s so important to be mindful about what else you have as couple. Take some time out to write all the qualities you love and admire about your partner that aren’t physical, and make sure there is enough to warrant giving a relationship a go.
- Discuss your plans and goals for the next 5 and 10 years. If you don’t have any, it’s good to put some thought into it. Knowing what you want and don’t want is helpful when figuring out if a relationship is worth a shot. This relies on both parties being 100% truthful to themselves and their partner. Juggling a relationship with being a parent and working whilst still maintaining time for self is extremely challenging. Investing time in all of these areas is key and both have to be equally committed.
Be aware that although you can do all of the above to minimise incompatibility, situations happen, and sometimes there can be a change of heart, nothing is set in stone. For example someone who says they don’t want kids, may change their mind. And they are entitled to do that. If you don’t also come round to the idea you may find that the relationship isn’t for you, and that’s when it’s time to consider whether to walk away.
Liam and Cheryl look distant