10 Tips to keep children safe online from predators

As another child sexual predator is bought to justice leaving a thousands of traumatised children worldwide and the suicide of a 12 year old I will keep hammering the message home that we need to talk to children about sex, bodies, consent and predators as early as possible! If a child is fearful of the anger or judgment of a parent then they learn to keep secrets and are at risk of grooming by online sexual predators.

Here are 10 ways we can address online grooming topics with children, (which should be as soon as they are using chat apps with, or without, a parent).

1. Make sure you are aware of what accounts/apps your children have. Snapchat has a minimum age of 13. No child under that age should have their own account. Most social media accounts have a similar minimum age. Snapchat is one of the worst at the moment, due to the disappearing messages and the ability to share locations.
2. When they create accounts (with or without your consent) they need to know how to keep their data/location private… as a parent sit with them and make sure their accounts are locked, and that their locations are turned off. Even for older teens privacy is paramount
3. Talk to them about cat fishing and how manipulative and controlling predators can be. They need to know that they exist and will mask as children to gain the trust and get information and data shared. They must only add people they know and see face to face, so that they can verify the identity of the account in person.
4. Children have to know that they can talk to parents about what they have experienced online and that they will never be the ones that get into trouble when they share or engage with anyone. Reassure them that even if they do something they know they shouldn’t they will never experience anything other than love and compassion from you as a parent
5. Have conversations about chatting to strangers and how it can seem naughty and exciting and ‘grown up’ however that while doing this they are vulnerable to child predators and that you cannot keep them safe if you don’t know who they are talking to. They also need to be aware of strangers flattering them acknowledging that although it may feel good their motivation may be to harm
6. Be sure that all adults in the home are invested emotionally in the child(ren). Emotional neglect, abuse and physical absence are key factors for children seeking validation from strangers. As parents we need to know how our children are doing emotionally, what’s going on in their world, from their eyes and how they’re affected by the challenging world around them. Parents wrapped up in work, juggling busy households or self neglecting and people pleasing can often miss opportunities to connect with their children, and the online world can become more appealing to offer them the attention and validation they crave.
7. The law. They need to know that sending explicit material as a child over the internet is illegal for the recipient and that it is classed as child sexual abuse. As a child they cannot consent to sending explicit data  or images and they are never to blame if they do send it
8. Keep up to date with what media children are using. As a parent it’s essential that we learn about what social media apps children are using and the potential dangers. We need to know all the ins and outs of how they work. You can discreetly report your own children’s accounts if you find them to get them shut down
9. Talk to them about sending photos over the internet. A good way to gauge if what they are sending is appropriate is if they would be happy for a stranger, or their parents to see what they’re sending, if the answer is no then don’t send over the internet. If they do send keep reiterating that you won’t be mad, you’re just trying to help advise and guide them
10. Be aware of your child’s self esteem, and if it’s low, social media is even more of a dangerous place. You don’t build a child’s self esteem by telling them how wonderful they are, they have to learn to feel this for themselves. As a parent are you modelling self acceptance, self care and self love? Or are you critical of your own appearance. Work on your self esteem first, then you can help support your child(ren) build theirs. (If you need help with this, contact me to book in on a call and we can explore how I can help you)

Reference news link. This is the tip of the iceberg so to speak. The abuse involved class A images (the worst category of child abuse), getting children to involve siblings as young as 4 and animals. 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj4d40922xvo.amp