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In my opinion what is often missed when we talk about bullying and awareness is what the root cause of the bullying is. The focus is always on the victim and not on the bully. It’s so important for us to look at why bullies bully if we are to look at dealing with the problem effectively. Bullies don’t need excluding and punishing, they need someone to show them compassion and to really look at the reasons why they are doing it, which is usually low self esteem, insecurity and sometimes behavior modeled and picked up from home. It’s a deflection of what’s going on in their life to outwardly pick on and bully another person. The bully wants the other person to feel what they perhaps unconsciously feel themselves; that they don’t fit in, are not good enough, not acceptable as they are, to name but a few reasons.

I’m not saying we should accept their behaviour, I am saying we should try and deal with the cause of their behaviour through counseling and support.

In this video I talk about how I have been on both sides of the fence I’ve been bullied physically and mentally and I’ve bullied verbally. Let us not forget that this is equally as damaging as physical bullying. Bullying and name-calling is never ok. To call someone a name with the intent of insulting or embarrassing someone is a sign of ignorance and lack of empathy.

One of my favourite sayings seems apt right now. Everyone you meet is fighting their own battle. Be kind always. Don’t hate bullies; give them love as you don’t know what is going on in their lives. Help them understand themselves, their behaviour and give them the support to work to change it so they make different choices moving forwards and learn to treat people with respect.

I genuinely want to thank my bullies as I feel they made me the strong woman that I am today. However that is not a green light to say that bullying is O.K.! For some people being a victim of bullying can have fatal consequences and some people not so strong can end up taking their own life. This is why it is so important to deal with both sides with equal compassion and love.

Does anyone agree or have any comments they would like to share?