22 Mar Dating Coach Rebecca Dakin shares her thoughts on ITV’s Take me Out The Gossip 17th March
Link reference: http://www.itv.com/itvplayer/video/?Filter=313062
Charles & Stephanie
Charles was very full on on his date. Stephanie didn’t know if Charles like her because she was the only girl left with her light on.
Because Stephanie wasn’t as full on and into him as he seemed to be with her he pulled out all the stops to woo her. He kissed her quite intensely when they met up on the Island, he bought her a thank you gift of a necklace for leaving her light on (she didn’t have the heart to tell him she left it on by accident). Although it’s a lovely thoughtful, gesture – jewellery is very personal, and when you have never met someone you don’t know what their style is or what they like. He took offense because she didn’t wear it, but that’s the risk you take when you buy jewellery.
Stephanie is a very beautiful, down to earth girl and you can tell that she isn’t one for fancy jewellery. I do think there was a bit of ‘being flash’ so that tv viewers could see how he was – especially when he made the plea at the end of his interview on Take Me Out The Gossip for women interested in being his wife!? to contact the show.
Charles was very insulting towards Stephanie about how she looked. He kept labouring the point about her personality but not mentioning how beautiful she was, until later on in the date. Thankfully because of Stephanie’s bubbly nature she let the insults go over her head. I think his pride was definitely wounded that this woman that he deemed initially not attractive wasn’t gratefully lapping up all his attention.
Charles said that he turned Sarah Harding down to milk his cows – now I don’t know what fantasy land he’s on, but it’s highly unlikely that this was Sarah either inviting herself to his home to be with him alone or visa versa. The name dropping didn’t do him any favours.
He was being flash with his cash but cash doesn’t turn Stephanie on, so he was onto a loser there. Sadly by being flash you can sometimes attract the wrong sort of women.
So needless to say it’s unlikely these two will be getting together in the near future.
Renny & Charlotte
Renny made the classic mistake of talking too much. I don’t know if it was out of nerves (which can be quite common) or if he was just self-obsessed and not interested in other people. He seemed a witty and down to earth, but I also heard a hint of bragging something about a #1 hit.
When guys try to Demonstrate Higher Value (DHV) by talking about what they have or what they have done, it can be a big turn off for women. DHV’s need to be subtle, and conversational.
Otherwise they end up doing the opposite of what they are trying to do. Instead of talking about himself he should have been asking Charlotte questions. To impress women is very simple – talk to us, show a genuine interest in us, make us feel special, and if the chemistry is there – bingo!
I wrote a post about being interesting and interested. You need to be both of these things for a successful date.
If Renny had have asked Charlotte questions this would have helped build rapport/connection. She would have felt he was interested in her on more than a superficial level and they’d have probably had at least a cheeky snog by the end of the date.
Renny’s fear of rejection and attitude of ‘I don’t want to end up looking like a muppet and try and not get anywhere’ is not attractive to women, because we need a man to show mental strength and some get up and go. Remember the Chelsea and Ben Love Story?
He’s got another chance as she’s agreed to go on another date with him, so fingers crossed he doesn’t blow it!
Jude & Ben
Ben, ‘I’m just a boy’ Aw 🙂
She’s 27 and he’s 19. Jude I think would have been up for a bit of fun with Ben, but Ben looked terrified of this gorgeous cougar!
After his date he seemed to like Charlotte, and they were flirting together, but I don’t know if Charlotte was flirting to get a reaction out of Renny who wasn’t making any effort after the date when they ended up in the club, or if she genuinely liked him.
It was refreshing to see in Ben (even at his young age) the way he held himself during his interview. I thought he came across more mature than his 19 years – mainly because unlike most of the other guys on Take Me Out The Gossip he didn’t turn nasty/insulting when he didn’t get his leg over at the end of the date!