13 Mar Dating Advice for Men – Date Coaching Feedback
Today I wanted to share with you a lovely email I received from one of my coaching clients (with his consent of course 🙂
Hi Rebecca,
I just wanted to email you to say thank you for such an insightful first coaching session with you. You asked me to let you how I found you and any feedback I had after our session so here it is…
After performing an initial internet search and checking the usual avenues (match.com, eharmony) I was interested in some tutorship to hone my confidence and improve my communicative ability across the board, but especially when dealing with women.
I found your site and browsed around, watching some introductory videos and reading into the services on offer, I decided that I would test the water by requesting a skype conversation with you to see where it would take me.
It worked out very well, I have seen a great deal of benefit from the advice provided during the session and have even been able to put some tips into practise! I want to talk about what helped and why, and to generally summarise the feeling I had after our session.
The thing that struck me about the conversation was how relaxed I felt talking to you. You put at ease from the get go and didn’t feel like I needed to hold back or mask my emotions. This comfort enabled me to reveal things that I wouldn’t usually speak of and therefore allowed me to start working on some personal issues that would change the way I approach a potential ‘love-interest’ scenario.
I found you very forthcoming about your personal experiences, which added value to my own and these similar experiences proved useful to give me pointers if I were to encounter the same issues in the future.
I particularly was interested in the experience you shared about the man in a bar who sent his friend over to say that he was interested. This is actually something that I’ve done before and thought nothing of, but I realise from talking to you that this was a really bad way to go about approaching a woman. I acknowledge now how childish and playground like the action of asking a friend to tell someone you’re interested in them is and won’t be repeating this in future! Growing a pair is therefore beneficial in many situations if you want to get anywhere, perhaps approaching and politely asking if they’d like to join you for a drink, before letting them know where you are and walking away. This shows that you have no expectation of them actually joining you and leaves the power in the woman’s hands, a position that a lot of women enjoy. It also takes away the fear of rejection as no question has really been asked and you don’t stick around waiting for an answer.
We also covered the possible approach for a girl that I work with, bringing together some tips from the last scenario to allow me to ask if I could join her at one of her salsa classes, again masking my intentions and allowing the woman some breathing space. This again puts the onus on the woman and takes away the thought of being turned down as it’s a pretty innocent thing to ask someone if you could attend a class that they frequent.
Although we covered a lot more ground during the Skype conversation and I was given a lot more valuable advice, I will wrap up with a short summary of your advice on my last potential interest.
I know a girl that is currently attached who seems to be paying me more attention than she should in this relationship due to her currently being attached. As a lot of men do, I became rather entangled with the thought of this woman paying me heed and pursued perhaps rather stupidly. You asked me whether I would feel secure if I ended up in a relationship with the said woman and how I would feel if it were to happen to me. I took a moment and realised that it would open up a world of insecurities later down the line and might not even be worth the effort.
Needless to say, I was very pleased with the overall feel of our Skype conversation and will certainly be in contact to arrange another, I feel that I can learn a lot from you and your encouragement in certain areas will benefit me across the board when dealing with people.
Thank you once again Rebecca and I look forward to our next session. I will of course keep you updated with my progress.
All the best,
Matt