It’s not uncommon to read about attractive celebrity women having a midlife crisis after having children and grabbing themselves a none celebrity toy boy. And who can blame them? Someone younger can have the effect of making you embrace your younger self especially if you still feel young at heart.
The most recent hitting the headlines is Daniella Westbrook’s (40) engagement to Tom Richards (24) after an 8 week romance. Ok magasine reports here… http://www.ok.co.uk/celebrity-news
Others recently include Kelly Brook (34) and David McIntosh (28).
It’s easy for many of us to lap it up and get caught in the excitement and intensity of a new romance, especially after living many years in a routine as a wife and mother. However it’s important to consider a number of variables to ensure your marriage has longevity.
Things to consider before you commit to engagement/marriage:
1) Discuss needs and desires for a family – and be aware that they could change for one party at a later date. A younger man may say he doesn’t want family if he’s with an older woman with children, but realistically that could change once outside of the honeymoon period or somewhere down the line.
2) Discuss and agree on boundaries for fidelity. Many couple don’t do this. Some don’t consider kissing cheating and other think if they receive oral sex it’s not cheating, also sex with an escort some guys deem as not cheating.
3) Make sure you have met and spent quality time with the important people in your partners life; whether its children, parents siblings, friends, work collegues. The phrase ‘you are the company you keep’ is true, so it’s important to know these people relatively well to find out more about your partner. If there are children involved then the relationships they have with them is of paramount importantance.
4) Talk about beliefs, lifestyle and morals and check that they are congruent with your own.
5) Intimacy is very important in a healthy relationship however often sex is electric in the honeymoon period and it can mean that reckless decisions are made. It’s important to try and separate your feelings about sex and consider if you would still want to be with that person even without the sex. This is to ensure your views on compatibility aren’t distorted because of it.
6) Never pent up any anger. If something bugs you discuss it and deal with it straight away don’t brush it under the carpet thinking that it will go away.
7) Make sure you are fully aware of their relationship history – what’s their longest relationship? Have they been engaged before? Who ended things and why?
8) Discuss their goals and travel plans. Are they congruent with your own? Can you explore and achieve any of them together?
9) All relationships need a certain amount of compromise however make sure that you both feel you have equally compromised or resentment may fester and take hold later down the line having a negative effect on the marriage.
10) Jealousy issues and insecurity can be rife in relationships where there is a larger age gap, make sure before you commit that there aren’t any underlying jealousy issues.
Congratulations and all the best to Daniella Westbrook and Tom Richards! They certainly make a good looking couple.