07 May Are you too Picky?
I wanted to reach out to those of you singletons who consider yourself ‘too fussy’ or others have labeled you this, however you are still pining for your ‘happy ever after’ with your perfect man/woman.
None of us are perfect and none of us are infallible, we are all unique.
The mistake many make is that they make their checklist so long for their perfect man/woman that it simply isn’t achievable.
Have you ever sat down and really thought about what is important to you what your core values are?
Core values are things that should be never compromised through your relationships, work or lifestyle. (they might be trust, integrity,
If you were to write your top 5 things off ‘your list’, how many of them are physical and how many are about personality?
If most of them are about looks then you have to consider where other like-minded individuals deem you… because those you deem not attractive you won’t be attracted to and visa versa.
The relationships you have won’t have any depth, which may suit you just fine, however the relationship may be at risk when the next attractive person comes along, who is deemed more attractive than you!
If we’re going to be really crass where do you truthfully see yourself on the scale of 1-10? 10 being ‘mega hot’, and where do you think others see you? There are plenty of websites for those who want to compare facial beauty.
See if you and other like-minded people deem you a 6, then clearly anything higher you are ‘punching above your weight’ as they say, and this is probably why you are single and will remain so.
My personal opinion based on my experiences when I was younger when others deemed my face ugly and socially unacceptable, is that I despise the whole concept of people rating each other on looks and relationships with no depth are not of any interest to me.
Those of you who have mostly personality traits as your top 5 things on your list are more likely to have stable, fulfilling relationships. It’s when your list is longer than 5 that there are problems.
Sometimes it seems that people actually want to date the male/female version of themselves!
Have you never heard of the Ying and Yang? People too alike clash. So don’t seek for people who would necessarily act the same way to you in a situation.
For example, someone impatient might have a moan at being in a queue too long, however a patient partner would calm that person down. The impatient person might be more spontaneous than the other so both bring different qualities to the table in the relationship.
It’s advantageous to have at least 3 none negotiables but a maximum of 5 on your list.
My Mum pointed out the other day that everyone nowadays expects sparks to fly immediately. As a nation with fast technology we increasingly more impatient. Judging someone on their first date isn’t an accurate picture of whether you are suited. They might have been incredibly nervous and not themselves, however on a second date more relaxed and you may feel more connected and attracted to them.
How do you know if you are too picky?
– Your list is longer than 5
– You judge people on their looks, and won’t go on a date unless you feel physically attracted to them
– If you don’t connect on the first date you don’t see them again
– You don’t go on many dates
– Your friends tell you!
– You have ended relationships for what others deem as silly reasons (see the photo below!)
If, you want to experience a fulfilling relationship, I can help you find the right person, clarify your core values and check congruency with what you offer and are looking for. This is something, we will work together on to allow you to experience dating success. Please do, get in touch via my contact form and start your journey to relationship happiness!