I was prompted to write this post after watching Channel 4’s Porn on The Brain.
http://www.channel4.com/programmes/porn-on-the-brain/4od#3584064
I found it a disturbing programme but one highlighting a big problem one which is becoming increasingly more common with what’s available on the internet. I work with guys who are addicted to porn and addicted to masturbation.
There is a fine line between healthy masturbation and an addiction; one which will ultimately lead to a life of loneliness, self loathing, obsession, a lack of fulfillment and detachment from real human interaction and pleasure, not to mention an inability to respect women and see them anything other than sexual objects for the gratification of men.
The act of masturbation itself isn’t wrong it’s that people who do it excessively are only seeing women as sexual objects and the obsession with seeing them as sexual objects is takes over their life because they have no control over it.
Every time these guys do it sex is being reinforced as something for their pleasure only and not something to be shared with a woman, which means they will find it less and less gratifying being with a woman. In some cases this is a self-sabotage situation to avoid real sex with real available women.
Sometimes it is a power/control thing; which usually means a deep insecurity/fear about women. For example some of the things I have uncovered whilst working with people with a similar problem, is based in their past experiences with women, they have had deep rooted unconscious fears of not satisfying a woman, fear of being hurt after being left and/or cheated on amongst other things.
How do you know if you have a problem?
– Is masturbation more enjoyable and fulfilling than real sex?
– When you masturbate is it an uncontrollable urge?
– Do you feel disgusted with yourself afterwards?
– Do you ever have to stop your day-to-day life to go and masturbate?
– Do you get bored when having real sex because you think the women aren’t as exciting as porn actresses?
– When with a sexual partner do you have trouble ejaculating or sustaining an erection?
– Do you ever masturbate at work?
– Do you masturbate more than once a day?
If the answer is yes to three or more of these questions then you could be addicted.
If this is you, what can you do? The first step is awareness.
There are some great articles and advice on the net:
http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-a-Masturbation-Addiction
http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/overcome-masturbation-addiction/
http://www.uncommonhelp.me/articles/overcome-porn-addiction/