1)   Make sure that you are ready for dating before you sign up. Any negative emotional baggage from previous relationships will project onto any dates you have and deter people from wanting to see you again, which will knock your self-esteem. You have to be ready to trust.

2)   Decide what you want, what your core values are and what your deal breakers are. Check that what you want is congruent with what you offer. For example I worked with a guy who was very negative and he was seeking a positive person. He hadn’t considered that a positive person wouldn’t want to date him. I worked with him to be more positive so that in turn he attracted positive ladies.

3)   Make sure you get your photos right. Photos to avoid are selfies, ones with bunches of mates and photos where an ex is cut out. If you don’t have any friendly welcoming clear photos of yourself, get someone to take some.

4)   Don’t go on a dating website because you think you ought to, go on it because you want to. Otherwise you won’t invest the time and effort needed for successful dating. Be prepared to invest a good few hours of your time a week to research matches, write messages, arrange dates and go on them.

5)   Choosing a dating website that you have to fill in a lot of information and questions and pay for (for example match.com) usually means that there are more serious daters on there. Make sure you fill in all the information that you can because this will ensure that your matches are more targeted.

6)   Decide what your strategy is and what works for you and stick to it. Do you have the time and are you more comfortable to engage in a lot of online live chat before you meet someone? Bear in mind some people will be wary of those that have so much time to chat online as they may assume they lack social skills in real life.  Or are you limited with your time and prefer 2-3 online messages before securing a date to see if there’s chemistry? Generally those willing to meet sooner are more serious daters.

7)   Remember that not all profiles are live with active users, so it’s imperative not to take things personally when you don’t get replies to messages. Keep initial contact short but relevant. If you invest too much time in each email you will resent people for not replying. It should take no more than 2 minutes to write an email. You want to see if there is a mutual interest first before you invest too much time in communication. Online dating is a numbers game. If you are a guy you will generally get less messages and less replies – expect a 1-10 ratio of response, for girls it’s slightly higher.

8)   Be truthful on your profile and never try and hide something; whether it be age or size. If you lie it usually means you are not happy in yourself and this is a problem for dating. There is someone for everyone for all ages and sizes, however if you lie you will subject yourself to a series of one dates and your self-esteem continue it’s decline.

9)   It’s good to have a Pay and Go phone rather than giving out your personal number. There are lots of weirdo’s online so you want to be able to keep your personal number for when you trust someone and decide to date someone or have a relationship with them.

10)  Especially women should always meet in a public place and let someone know where they are going. Call/text to check in and out of the date so someone knows you are safe.

If online dating is not working for you, it’s usually down to your profile. If you want me to look at your profile and help you enhance it for Successful Online Dating, please don’t hesitate to get in touch.