The Sun Reports:

Cheating Ronaldo romps with Brazilliajn Beauty Miss Bumbum

Another footballer cheats? Sacre Bleu can you believe it? I’m gob smacked.

I’m so bored of seeing cheating footballers making front-page news…

So now Randy Ronaldo has cheated on his 3-year model girlfriend. Well let’s face it, it won’t be the first time, it’s just the first time it’s made the news. Maybe a few more will come out of the woodwork now.

Miss Bumbum’s excuse for the expose is the traumatic experience she went through whilst leaving the hotel after their romp. Poor lass. She maybe thought they’d be walking out hand in hand as new lovers!

Sports and exercise is known to boost libido, so if you’re more randy than your other half, try and get him or her down the gym!

Exercising increases testosterone so naturally those that exercise usually find they have a high sex drive.

That’s not to condone cheating! In the Uk in the 21st century unless you are restricted by religion no one is obligated to enter into a monogamous relationship. If you want to have sex with multiple partners find someone else who wants to do the same and agree terms for an open relationship. 

Alternatively if you want more sex find a partner who is more suited to your sex drive.

Combine high testosterone with silly money and voila you have a selfish, arrogant, greedy, horny, playboy who thinks he’s untouchable, can do as he pleases and neither cares about or considers consequences.

A guy like Ronaldo will always be wanting to know who else is out there, he’ll never be satisfied with what he has. He won’t want to miss out on any new opportunities.

In his eyes there are so many women and too little time. Another one bites the dust. Time to dust those shoulders off… next…