Watching Take me Out The Gossip and cringing, I felt compelled to write a blog post. I’m going to observe a couple of contrasting couples.

Jack and Lizz.

http://www.itv.com/takemeout/the-gossip (video link)

Although Jack is a very likable chap this is a classic example about how guys are 5 years behind in maturity years. They are both 19 but she’s much more mature than him. He’s never been on a date and it’s so obvious bless him. He lacks self-awareness and is completely in his own little bubble. He obviousy thought he could just ‘wing it’ on his Take me Out Date at the Isle of Fernandos. Sadly that’s not the way to make any progress with ladies. Poor lad has a lot to learn, but he doesn’t realise it. His boyish charm may have worked if he’d been more self aware, and aware of how she was feeling.

His table manners were atrocious and didn’t show a good upbringing – I’m guessing he’s an only child. Women don’t want a guy who will embarrass her in public… we have Dad’s and little brothers for that. Women are looking for a guy who can have fun and entertain them, but one that also knows how to behave when it’s appropriate.

Lizz expected to be the one not interested because he’s immature, but when he acted dismissive towards her she was perturbed. It’s the classic push pull PUA technique. I referenced this in my blog post about Russell Brand building sexual attraction in 5 minutes. See it here.  Sadly Jack ‘pushed’ too much. If he’d been all over her she wouldn’t have been interested, however because he wasn’t giving her attention she craved it. I think he suspected that he didn’t have a chance and so ignored her and was oblivious to the fact that he had turned things around. In the video in the back ground you can see her trying to get involved and him blatantly ignoring her.

Now lets look at the other extreme. Here’s what happens when you ‘pull’ too much.

Bianca and Marty

http://www.itv.com/takemeout/the-gossip (video link)

So here’s what happens when you give a girl too much attention. Marty was ‘pulling‘ too much. These two were all over each other. She was equally smitten by him whilst they were away, because she was in ‘holiday romance’ mode.

However once the romantic holiday/date was over and they were back to their real lives, surrounded by their friends, she found it uncomfortable, and felt things were moving too quickly.

To be fair to him she was giving him the signs that she was equally as keen, so he carried on the intensity.

When they got back to the Uk she then felt pressured and that things were moving too fast. He told her she should have talked to him about it and not called it off, but she tried and he was so smitten that he didn’t want to listen. As a woman it’s very hard to go back once you have that feeling of someone being too intense. It’s an instant turn off, and the feeling is one of being smothered and trapped. He should have taken a step back and left it a few days to contact her when they got back to England, so she could reminise and felt the ‘loss’. She would have been confused and wondered if he was interested. However when he did finally contact her she would have been so happy to hear from him and it would have kept her keen.

Men and women are alike in the way that we both want a bit of a challenge. Jack and Lizz would have never worked out, but they may have had a short fling if he’d shown her a little bit of interest after being dismissive. He was completely unaware that she wanted his attention. Once she’d got it she would have definitely got bored very quickly.

However Bianca and Marty would have potentially had a chance if he’d played it a little bit cool when they got back, and almost taken her to the brink of giving up and thinking that he wasn’t interested and then making an effort (ie: The Push Pull Technique above). She would have appreciated him more and craved his company rather than feeling smothered.