So your dates a week away, do you call/text? And how often?

It’s good to be aware of the vibe and your connection. Sometimes when people are so focused on what they want to say, or what to say next they miss the chemistry/connection or lack of it. When you are speaking focus on what the person is saying and how they are saying it, try and analyze their voice, how does it sound? Is conversation easy? Is it flowing or hard work?

Does she sound, nervous, excitable, happy, friendly, bored, interested, pissed off (have you touched a nerve?), rushed (bad time?), non communicative?

If it’s hard work it may be because she is nervous, so it’s up to you to try and put her at ease.

If the conversation flowed then I’d give her a call or text again in a couple of days. It doesn’t need to be a long conversation, but if you had lots to talk about first time around, then it’s likely you will pick up where you left off and talk again for a while.

If she sounded nervous on the phone, maybe try a text in a couple of days and see how she responds.

Make sure it’s not a ‘man text’ i.e.

Hi how are you?’

Good morning

Hi how was your day?’

Hi what are you doing?’ (always an odd, unnerving one)

It needs to be interesting and/or conversational/funny and have substance:

Hey, great to chat the other night! How’s your week so far? I’ve booked our table for next week. Looking forward to seeing you again

As a guy I would initially be the instigator for conversation phone calls/texts (again it showcases leadership and assertiveness), but you do need to note how she is responding, and if she is also taking any initiative to contact you.

If she wants daily contact and you don’t, then it means you’re out of synch – she is more keen than you, and it’s something to be mindful of.  It’s up to you to slow the pace down and not reply daily if you don’t want daily contact at that point.

Another one of my girlfriend’s gripes is when guys get shirty when they don’t get a response straight away (equally there’s just as many women who are also really bad for this too). Here’s your first warning sign of a needy person, who is desperate for a relationship and who doesn’t have anything going on in their life. I’d run a mile if she messages you to ask why you haven’t responded.

It’s someone that doesn’t value your time. Sometimes messages do go awry so the appropriate response for someone who isn’t needy, that hasn’t had a reply would be to wait a couple of days, (as long as you’re not meeting within a couple of days) is, ‘Hey how are you? Just wondering if you got my message the other day?’ No reply second time round = not interested. Move on. Plenty more fish in the sea J

Without some sort of consistency before your date she may think you’re not that interested. So a call or text every 2-4 few days is advisable to keep the connection prior to your date.