Ben and Chelsea Take Me Out love Story – Why It worked.

Reference: http://www.itv.com/  (9 minutes in)

If you don’t watch the Uk dating show Take Me Out, don’t worry here’s the temporary video link, however even if you can’t view it, if you read on you will get the jist of the analysis of this couple. If you are interested in the psychology of what makes couples work, then this will be of interest… When Ben had the final choice of two ladies to take on a date he chose a different girl.

He says that he realized he had made a mistake instantly and even called the show before he went on his date to say he didn’t know why but in his haste he had chosen the wrong girl.

Needless to say the date he did go on was never going to work out. Chelsea was still on the show and when Ben returned from his date and they broadcast his date, the presenter Paddy said to Chelsea ‘Ben has been in touch with the show and has asked you to get in touch because he made a mistake.’

Chelsea’s answer was brilliant – “There’s no second chances in my book”. What did this say about Chelsea?

This told Ben that Chelsea was a strong woman who wasn’t going to be anyone’s ‘second choice’. She’s confident, sassy and has a lot of self-respect and self worth

This powerful short sentence said so many positive things about her character.In Ben’s words he immediately saw this as a challenge.

Guys, women want to feel special they want to feel that in the words of Rhianna, ‘They are the only girl in the world’. A guy that is seen going and trying his luck from girl to girl is not attractive. It means they are interested in anyone, not someone. I’m not suggesting you stalk ladies and try and  make them like you – don’t forget Ben knew Chelsea liked him because she left her light on. The physical attraction was already there, he knew she was interested because he had a chance and blew it. You have to know there is a mutual connection/chemistry there on some level if you are pursuing a lady, but we do like guys that persist.

If a guy gets nasty after being rejected all it does is show to the lady she made the right choice. Wouldn’t it be better to be really cool and pleasant to a lady that rejects you to show her whats she’s missing, so she’s left wondering what might have been? This shows confidence to be thinking and genuinely believing that it’s ‘her loss’. And this itself can be attractive as long as it is confidence and not arrogance. So she’s potentially feeling regret rather than reinforcing she made the right decision – i.e her thinking ‘I had a lucky escape from that one’.

Anyhow I digress Chelsea went on a date with someone on the show and it was a disaster, and up until that point she was comparing everyone to Ben. She admits now they are together that no one came close to Ben.

He was so insistent that his number be passed on that eventually she messaged him and they started texting. I would imagine there was plenty of apologetic, groveling, intense messages, and she finally agreed to meet him.

Why? Because he was resourceful and demonstrated his leadership and he was persistent. She did find him attractive and even more so now he was rising to the challenge and not taking no for an answer. He would be a man that would protect her and fight to keep her. So he showed his qualities in his refusal to take no for an answer because he knew she was the one.

They are now getting married! Aw…

A man that will do what it takes and is very appealing for women. Too many guys are too weak nowadays (and I don’t mean in a physical sense) they have no drive, ambition and ‘get up and go’, they fear rejection too much, so they don’t even try and they worry too much.

Women want a guy who is self assured without being self obsessed, confident without being arrogant, driven without being a workaholic, a leader without being a control freak, assertive without being rude, and spontaneous without being reckless.

If someone gives up too easily us ladies think ‘well he obviously wasn’t that into me anyway, I did the right thing to reject him’. Rejection doesn’t mean we are not interested ever, it means at that moment we are not interested. There might be personal reasons; we have a man, or stuff going off in our lives, the timings wrong, or that we don’t know you well enough to make a commitment there and then – this is usually because there hasn’t been enough rapport built. I’ll do a post on building rapport at a later date, but for now it might be worth checking out my old post showing a video showing Russell Brand building rapport (link here > Building sexual attraction in 5 minutes’.