Signs you are in a Toxic Relationship

Is New Year time for a change? So many people are in miserable toxic relationships, however they stay together because the good times, are really good, usually intense, however they fear of losing that person, being alone, and don’t feel worthy of anything better. How do you know if you are in a toxic relationship?

Here’s 15 Signs You are in a Toxic Relationship….

1. Everything you say seems to be taken the wrong way – you feel you have to tread on egg shells but still seem to end up arguing

2. If you took the sex away you probably wouldn’t be together

3. One or both of you frequently check the others phones and social media accounts

4. You suspect your partner knows your social media passwords and is checking up on you.

5. One or both of you think about the other constantly and what they are doing who they are with when you aren’t together. Neither of you fully trust the other, and one or both is potentially cheating because they think they other is at it

6. They say hurtful things and try and laugh them off as ‘jokes’ and throw your insecurities back at you

7. Most of your closet friends and family think you shouldn’t be together

8. They mentally or physically abuse you but show remorse so you forget it until next time

9. You feel as though you’re doing all the giving but you’re not getting your relationship needs met

10. There is constant point scoring, games and winding each other up

11. You feel frustrated and sad more than 40% of the time

12. You feel you can’t comment on the attractiveness or qualities of other people who are the same sex as your partner for fear of making them jealous or them taking it the wrong way

13. Your relationship is a cycle of breaking up and getting back together

14. You are both co dependent however neither is happy

15. You feel you can’t live with them, but can’t live without them

 

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10 Top Tips for Things to do to Beat the January Blues

It’s peak time for break ups and divorces after the pressures of Christmas and the promise of a new year.

Moral is usually low with people feeling a level of self loathing because of over indulgence in food, alcohol and the wallet!

And all in all it can be a pretty depressing month, if you choose it to be.

Top 10 Tips to Feel Good This January

1.    Don’t hide away, plan to catch up with friends and family. Make dates and socialise.

2.    Avoiding alcohol is a waste of time if you do it for one month and then start your binge drinking. Why not cut down and enjoy a glass of wine with friends rather than cutting it out altogether; (which will feel like deprivation so you crave it more), and commit to a life style change over the year?

3.    Make achievable small goals rather than lots of big ones. Stopping smoking and drinking, and losing weight are all very common ones, but they are all big life style changes and are things to really plan for not expect to achieve immediate success with all in January. These are things I can assist with using Hypnosis, and there are other therapies too. Feeling a failure for breaking your resolutions will further enhance self loathing and feelings of disappointment and letting yourself down. The point is not to avoid making big changes, but to be realistic as to what you are willing to commit to doing, so you allow yourself to feel a sense of achievement, which will boost morale and pave the way for the bigger changes. Life style changes (such as eating less, stopping drinking or cutting down) take planning, and usually time in getting to the bottom of why there is over induldgence and replacing those urges with a new positive behaviour or habit.

4.    If you have kids or nieces/nephews and friends with kids spend quality time with them. Kids are wonderfully oblivious to January being different to any other month, apart from having lots of new toys to play with. They will lift your spirits and make you smile.

5.    Get out in the fresh air – don’t hide away. Our bodies need sunlight and vitamin D. Even if it’s walking to the shop, make sure you spend at least an hour a day outside.

6.    Eat well. Replenish your body after the indulgence of the festive season. You will be surprised how you feel after a week or two of making sure you eat all your greens. Home made smoothies and juicers are a great way to boost your energy and wellbeing. You may find you pick up a bargain juicer at this time of year! Avoid/minimise the foods that make you sluggish like bread and excess carbohydrates.

7.    In January it’s very easy to become focused on ones self – helping others is a great way to feel good and create some good Karma/positive energy for the coming year. Make time to help family/friends that are close to heart or there may be a charity event you can support. Maybe it’s taking unwanted Christmas presents to charity shops instead of making money of Ebay. Giving is a great way to feel good and feel a sense of achievement.

8.    Inspire and motivate yourself. Instead of spending hours watching inane T.V shows out of boredom during the dark winter months, why not search You Tube and watch inspiring seminars and interviews? There is so much on there, that you can watch something new every day! T.V is the perfect way to keep that sluggish, self-loathing feeling to the fore.

9.    Visualize the positive changes you want for the year. Take time out of your day to sit in a quiet space if you can or do it at night before you sleep, or when you wake up, to visualize how things would be when you are living the lifestyle you want to live. How you would feel, what you would see, hear, smell. The more realistic you can make it, then your unconscious mind gets tricked that it is real and will guide you to achieve your success for real!

10. Be grateful and happy with what you have. Sometimes people can 100% put their focus in the future that they forget to live in the present an acknowledge the things they have in their life – family, friends, water, a roof over their head, good health. Goals are healthy to have to assist growth however you still need to live in the moment to see the beauty and opportunities that are around you every day.

For new and existing clients for information on how I can assist you, including bonus time on all one to ones and Skype/Phone for January. get in touch today!

 

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