Will My Wife Love Her Vibrator More Than Me?

A Guardian reader asked Pamela Stephenson-Connoly.

“My wife and I have been happily married for 10 years, and we have sex often. Three months ago, however, after we discussed it, my wife bought a “realistic” vibrator. I’ve found myself growing steadily intimidated by it. I know length isn’t that important, but girth definitely is: and the girth is quite drastically different. I just can’t shake the idea that she’ll find my “normal” size less appealing over time.”

Here are my thoughts…

Sex toys are a pretty standard part of kit for many men and women nowadays for both couples and singles play. When used between couples they are used to create different sexual sensations to enhance sex not to replace it.

Men are more obsessed with penis size than women. You’re saying that girth definitely is important; is this for her or you?

You talked very openly before she purchased a vibrator which is great, however have you talked openly about your feelings since? This would be the place to start.

When she knows how you feel perhaps it will be something you use less often, and when you do hopefully she will be sensitive to your feelings.

Why not surprise her by buying her a smaller clitoral vibrator as a gift and experiment together with that.

Have you discussed your fantasies and desires with her? There are many other ways to experiment without using sex toys, e.g. role-play, tantric sex.

Clearly you have a great sex life after 10 years and it’s very refreshing to hear.

This toy can be used on both men and women and it’s only a fiver! Bargain. For you get her to try it on your perenium, around your anus and your balls. for her it’s a beast on her clitoris. There are a huge selection at #LoveHoney




Harry Derbidge and Bobby Norris put their troubles behind them.. or Do They? Celebrity Body Language Exposed

Towie Couple Harry Derbidge and Bobby Norris put their troubles behind them reports the Daily Mail

Harry and Bobby are taking things slowly after Harry admitted to cheating with his ex.

Moving on from infidelity is one of the hardest challenges, because once trust is broken it is very hard to mend.

Some of the negative emotions that are a byproduct of infidelity are paranoia, insecurity, jealousy and anger, along with a knock to ones confidence and self belief.

Looking at the photos of them both although they appear to be all smiles, their body language tells a different story.

Currently there is no sexual desire as they both keep their distance from the other. Pelvises touching and facing shows a sexual connection. There is no synergy in their body language they are not mirroring each others walks, or any gestures. This shows that currently they are not connected.

These 2 are keeping up appearances for the paps, but their body language gives their true feelings away. Hopefully they will sort things out one way or the other without too much heartache. In my opinion I don’t think they can go the distance, I think Bobby’s ready to settle down and feel that long term security, however Harry isn’t, he’s enjoying the spot light and lifestyle that Towie is offering him and why not, these boys are still young with plenty of time to settle down.


Can Sexually Mismatched Relationships Work?

Is the question #Grazia asked a couple of experts in this weeks magazine.

What is the definition of sexually mismatched?

  • differing libidos
  • differing kinks
  • differing desires to explore new ideas

In my opinion in some instances sexually mismatched relationships can work. Successful relationships are down to communication, respect and compromise.

However if one decides that they have a strong sexual preference for BDSM or another kink considered risqué, then it may be something that a compromise can’t be reached on.

Even if couples are matched for a period of time, it doesn’t mean that once one libido has dropped or accelerated (which generally inevitably happens down to age, medicines and general fitness), or one decides they want to explore that one should ditch their partner and move on.

It’s about being sensitive to each others needs and both having a genuine desire to please and be pleased.

Of course if a compromise can’t be reached and one or both are unhappy, then maybe it is time to seek a new partner, however there isn’t a right or wrong answer one size fits all here. Everyone’s personal situation is different. However for some it is possible to have a successful relationship whilst being sexually mismatched.