How to Date Women, Dating advice. The Push Pull PUA Technique. Ref: Take me Out The Gossip

Watching Take me Out The Gossip and cringing, I felt compelled to write a blog post. I’m going to observe a couple of contrasting couples.

Jack and Lizz.

http://www.itv.com/takemeout/the-gossip (video link)

Although Jack is a very likable chap this is a classic example about how guys are 5 years behind in maturity years. They are both 19 but she’s much more mature than him. He’s never been on a date and it’s so obvious bless him. He lacks self-awareness and is completely in his own little bubble. He obviousy thought he could just ‘wing it’ on his Take me Out Date at the Isle of Fernandos. Sadly that’s not the way to make any progress with ladies. Poor lad has a lot to learn, but he doesn’t realise it. His boyish charm may have worked if he’d been more self aware, and aware of how she was feeling.

His table manners were atrocious and didn’t show a good upbringing – I’m guessing he’s an only child. Women don’t want a guy who will embarrass her in public… we have Dad’s and little brothers for that. Women are looking for a guy who can have fun and entertain them, but one that also knows how to behave when it’s appropriate.

Lizz expected to be the one not interested because he’s immature, but when he acted dismissive towards her she was perturbed. It’s the classic push pull PUA technique. I referenced this in my blog post about Russell Brand building sexual attraction in 5 minutes. See it here.  Sadly Jack ‘pushed’ too much. If he’d been all over her she wouldn’t have been interested, however because he wasn’t giving her attention she craved it. I think he suspected that he didn’t have a chance and so ignored her and was oblivious to the fact that he had turned things around. In the video in the back ground you can see her trying to get involved and him blatantly ignoring her.

Now lets look at the other extreme. Here’s what happens when you ‘pull’ too much.

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I will be discussing Sugar Babies and Escort Girls on BBC Radio Nottingham Thursday 2nd February 10.15am

I will be speaking to Mark Dennison about my views/opinions on the stats below.

– 1 in 10 young women would consider a sugar daddy to make ends meet
– 150,000 female uk users have registered for seekingarrangement.com in
the past 6 months. 59% of those under 25.
– 9/10 have degrees or are studying.

Listen in peeps 🙂 Please feel free to comment your thoughts on my blog.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/england/nottingham/

Dating tips advice – Russell Brand building sexual attraction in 5 minutes

To follow on from my last post…. Love him or hate him he’s a winner with the ladies so lets look at Russell Brand for an example.

Turn the sound down on this video to watch his physiology and see how much you can notice without listening to his words, because even if you copy his words it would mean nothing, it’s the body language and physiology that is powerfully building the attraction with this lady.

 

 

1)     notice how he’s smiling and relaxed, his shoulders are back and low

2)     he has a ‘slight’ air of arrogance which is appealing to a lot of women because it shows assertiveness

3)     He’s looking intently at every person he is speaking to

4)     His face is expressive

5)     He’s leaning in to engage and build rapport

6)     He starts off shoulders back and low then as he builds rapport (connection) he moves and leans in. Then once rapport is established he’s on his feet and behind the lady, touching her appropriately. Being behind her and touching her shoulders is a protective gesture.

7)     His touch is dominant but tender (zillion brownie points for this) he knows it’s ok to touch her because he’s watching her face for any signs of discomfort, and she’s not even flinching – she’s relaxed and smiling

8)     All movements he makes are direct and his gestures pronounced. It almost looks as though he is painting a big picture with his hands and visualising things because he’s looking at his hands. Creating scenes and getting women to use their imagination and painting idyllic pictures is a great way to build rapport.

 

What he did there was a very powerful, lets look at his rapport building techniques. Being comfortable talking to women is about getting on the same wavelength as them, and making them want you, rather than focussing on you wanting them.

So lets break it down step-by-step. It’s a gradual process but takes him all of 5 minutes…

 

1)     he takes a second to compose himself – a deep breath to reaffirm his confidence and to ground himself.

2)     He’s talking to the lady and facing her but he’s a little dismissive, he isn’t trying to get her full attention straight and actually ignores her as she walks past away then…

3)     He leans in and turns his chair

4)     As he builds connection he leans in further and pulls her hand into his in a dominant way. This is only done because he has seen that he has built rapport. She’s laughing and relaxed.

5)     He swiftly stands on the chair, almost ‘king like’ It’s a very alpha male thing to do, it’s showing his confidence and superiority, almost like male animals do when they perform to attract females.

6)     He puts both his hands on her shoulders and moves around her. This is a very protective gesture, and it’s endearing

7)     He intimately moves her hair and almost looks like he’s whispering sweet nothings to her. You can tell she’s going weak at the knees

8)     He then uses the push/pull technique by then moving away and purposefully breaking the rapport suddenly. even without sound you can almost feel the sudden break. If you look very closely you see just the corner of her face and it completely fell when he jumped up and moved away. If you have rapport then this is a very powerful technique, because then the person want you more

 

And that is how the Lothario Russell Brand works his magic 🙂

Dating advice – Guys if you’re worried about conversation with women – could it be because you talk too much when you should be listening?

I’ve had a couple of guys recently asking me about what to talk to women about to avoid the conversation going dry.

Remember my last post highlighting that only 7% of our communication is through words?

Conversation is really is not what anyone should be getting hung up on. Be careful not to talk too much. If you’re worried about conversation I would suggest it’s because you talk too much when you should be listening. Because if you’re listening you wouldn’t be worried about what to say! 🙂

It’s one of the biggest mistakes men (and women) make; talking about themselves too much.

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Dating advice / tips for men: “My friend fancies you”

What you have to remember is that most of what we communicate doesn’t come out of our mouth. 97% is non-verbal communication, leaving a measly 7% for our patter.

With this in mind how come we get so hung up on what to say?

I always feel disappointed when I hear the “my friend fancies you”. Straight away I make these assumptions about this ‘friend’ bearing in mind the fact the guy who likes me hasn’t said one word to me…

I think, ‘he’s got no balls, he’s not a leader, he’s not assertive, he lacks confidence, he’s a coward, he’s immature.’

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